Flesh-head's Treehouse Of Random Goodness

Nicotine Dreams #2

2011-06-03T20:15:00.001-07:00

My favorite movie is A Clockwork Orange. Drew this tonight while watching the new 40th anniversary BluRay release. I think I want to call this one "The Ludovico Technique".

The Paint Dilemma.

2011-05-31T23:47:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, in an effort to distract me from smoking, I cleaned out my studio. Well, I call it my studio but it is actually the dining room of our tiny apartment that I converted to a relatively distraction-free area that I can draw or assemble the mixed media art stuff I do. In the past few months, it became infested with clutter and junk and random board games and Lego Harry Potter sets. My studio was an unusable space for anything other than storage.

With considerably more energy than when I was slowly killing myself every hour or two, my studio became my number one priority to get back in shape. The cleaning went surprisingly quick, even with me stopping every so often to marvel at a found piece that I never finished or the papercraft Caveman Robot that was half-assembled or even my favorite metal barrel pencil returning home to papa. Then the canvas emerged.

Several months ago, I had bought a one foot square stretched canvas on a whim while shopping for various art supplies. I had acrylic paints left over from an old art school project and figured that since the canvas was on sale, why not? It is worth a try. All artists have to paint to be taken seriously, right? And didn't every one of my art teachers have a hint of revulsion in their voice when they talked about illustrators? So I bought it and promptly forgot about it.

Until it turned up in my cleaning. Immediately, my brain began turning about what to fill it with. A solid image started to form so I grabbed my favorite pencil and sketched it out, even going so far as to do a color guide for it. Maybe I should explain what kind of stuff I like to draw or sketch. My style got pegged in school as "pop art" or "surrealistic" but I truthfully do not see it that way. I like to take a mundane object and make it huge or focus on a small section of it. I do use still-life on a consistent basis. Toys, robots, and candy figure prominently in almost all my pieces but lately I have been fascinated with drawing toy stuffed animals in strange situations. My teachers called my work "whimsical" on several occasions and were pushing for me to try my hand at children's illustration.

So this piece was to be an offset toy rabbit head smiling while floating in space. Here's a picture of my sketch:

I like it. It is goofy, which is ultimately why I do anything in life.

Tuesday was to be my Big Painting Day and I was excited. The thrill of doing a new big piece. Whoo, man. I love that. There was extensive research, too, with blending and using different mediums and thinning out the paint. The idea was solid. The execution... Well, after about six hours of painting, I had a finished piece. And I was not happy. Maybe I just needed time to stare at it and roll it around in my brain. Let it simmer. So that is what I did. Stared at it. Turned it around. Tried it from different angles. Nope. Okay, maybe I am just tired. One shower and a cup of coffee later, there still was no connection. Alright. This is not the first time I have been initially unhappy with a piece. Maybe time is what I need.

After a couple hours, I reexamined it. And I HATED it. More than any piece I have done in the last ten years. At one point, there might have been thought of burning it. There is usually some aspect of a piece I can grasp, even if it is just for learning experience. There definitely was a lesson here: I hate acrylic paint. Can't stand them. It just feels like I am back in grade school messing with poster paints. I should have just thrown glitter over the wet paint. At least it would be shiny. I also learned something about myself from this: I have absolutely no desire to be a painter, at least not with oils or acrylics. Charcoal and pastels work just fine for me, even with the limited usage they get from me anymore, but that always feels like fingerpainting. Think I will stick pencil, pen, and ink for now. The black/white contrast thing is always appealing. Besides, my next big project is to be a series of pop-up book pages and who ever heard of a painted pop-up book?

Nicotine Dreams #1

2011-05-28T19:59:00.001-07:00

New painting/drawing I did instead of smoking. First in a series, hopefully. I think I want to call it "Night Terrors".

Hey, This Still Exists.

2011-05-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

Coming soon.

So, life things happened. I quit reading monthly issues of comic books, after collecting steadily since I was 10 years old. After realizing I had a stack of reads that was two months old and still buying every week, combined with a looming car payment, something had to give. The occasional collection still sneaks its way into my bookshelf but I am nowhere near knowledgeable of current events in comics for the first time in over twenty years. What did I miss? Is Gwen Stacy still dead? What about Batman's parents? Still ventilated?

No more current issues in my dimly-lit lair was strangely freeing. That huge stack I mentioned? Never even read it. My Current Wife is actually more caught up than me as she read that stack.

When I decided to be done, I just took it off of my table and filed it away. My weekly budget had spiraled out of control, with some weeks topping out at $75. Buying every part of a certain company-wide crossover event that was not put out by Marvel was what finally broke me.

Comics are still something I love and probably always will. Just at a safe distance now. Becoming a responsible adult is simultaneously depressing and thrilling. By not buying comics, I was able to save up to get a new car, a cherry red and black Telecaster, and not become homeless through insufficient funds and a bounced rent check. It is hard to collect and store comics when they are loose in a shopping cart as I fight for day-old bagels behind Noah's with Toothless Joe The Singing Hobo Prodigy. He never fights fair anyway, with his secret hobo pugilism techniques learned from The Boxcar Syndicate.

And we are now caught up to Present Day. Time to get down to brass tacks. The two biggest changes in my life lead directly into the re-opening of The Treehouse. My loves in life are music and art. My band, The Kill Junkies, put out a cd last year and I got a chance to work in a digital medium for the first time. So I now want to use The Treehouse to post about the band and our adventures. We have been hard at work writing new, nerdy, metal songs. One is called Crippled Masters and it is a love letter to martial arts movies. The other new one is entitled The Wanderer. It is about how your best bet for religion is worshiping Odin. We have also been working in songs from our old band, Fangboy And The Ghouls. Fun stuff. If you like nerdy, jam metal that doesn't take itself too seriously, check us out. The Kill Junkies Facebook Page

The Treehouse is also going to be a place for me to post things I draw. I am using art as a way to quit smoking. The goal is that every time I want a cigarette, I sketch in one of my many sketchbooks. As a Fine Art major, it seems to be a good way to keep up on drawing and doing something with my hands that doesn't involve nicotine. The Boxcar Hobo fights are just too hard on me anymore.

No promises this time. That is just too much pressure and I already have a job. This is supposed to be a fun diversion for me and for you. And not smoking has made me edgy. Which means I need other outlets. Drawing. Posting on here. Pimping the band. Just keep Toothless Joe The Singing Hobo Prodigy away from me. He still won't give me the two cans of beans he owes me.

Coming soon!

2009-05-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

4:19pmTravis

that was quick

4:19pmSean

Smokes and Chipotle don't take much time.

4:19pmTravis

mmm chipotle

4:22pmTravis

now im hungry

4:24pmTravis

curses on you

4:24pmSean

Sorry, the wife called.

4:24pmTravis

its ok

4:27pmTravis

brb, food time

4:35pmSean

Are you gonna give birth to a food baby after that?

4:37pmTravis

i did that earlier

now its time to consumate yet another

4:37pmSean

Ha!

4:39pmTravis

burritos FTW

4:40pmSean

I hope my poop is burrito-shaped!

4:40pmTravis

i wish my poop was burrito-scented

t'would be an improvement

4:41pmSean

It might turn you off of eating burritos if they smelled the same as your poop.

4:41pmTravis

probably not

poop is only gross from its smell

if it smelled better, it wouldnt be as gross

4:42pmSean

Man, a blind taste-test would be SCARY.

4:42pmTravis

haha no kidding

i would just perpetually remind myself not to enter into any blind taste tests

especially those incorporating burritos

4:44pmSean

"We've secretly changed Travis' burrito with burrito-scented poop. Let's watch what happens..."

4:45pmTravis

shakes fist

4:45pmSean

HA!

I think all the poop-talk has made have to deposit poop into a ceramic terlet.

Or in my pants.

4:48pmTravis

i vote for the aforementioned

4:48pmSean

Please. Don't incorporate a fist and poop into the same conversation.

4:49pmTravis

hey youre the one who correlated

4:49pmSean

POOPFIST sounds like a disgusting superhero name.

4:50pmTravis

maybe there already is. and his other power is extreme anonymity

4:50pmSean

I guess his power would be launching mystically-conjured poop splatter from his gigantic brown fist.

4:51pmTravis

maybe he picked it up from jane goodall

4:52pmSean

Wow! His partner could be a poop-flinging monkey! In a mask and cape!

4:53pmTravis

named rupert

4:54pmSean

CAPTAIN RUPERT

4:54pmTravis

it should be Doctor Rupert

4:54pmSean

Professor Rupert.

4:54pmTravis

and he will have a PhD in proctology

violent proctology

4:55pmSean

And a minor in PAIN.

4:56pmSean

Mask, cape, lab coat, and a stethoscope.

All on a monkey.

4:57pmTravis

and a tongue depressor that says "not for oral use"

4:57pmSean

LOL

We are GENIUSES.

4:58pmTravis

why arent we making cartoons or at least comic strips out of the things we talk about?

4:59pmSean

We should. That is actually a very good idea.

4:59pmTravis

i know

4:59pmSean

I know all about how to make, put together, and distribute comics.

4:59pmTravis

i know you do

weve talked about it before

about your knowledge of it anyway

5:00pmSean

So let's actually do this.

5:00pmTravis

i am down

5:01pmSean

We could make low brow/high brow comics AND animation.

5:01pmTravis

im not much of an artist but i am good at spinning off a lot of random stuff lol

5:01pmSean

If all goes well, I won't have to find a job. Well, not a full-time job, at least.

5:01pmTravis

right

5:01pmSean

I am an ok artist...

5:01pmTravis

if we get published

5:02pmSean

WAIT A MINUTE!

We could self-publish. That is no problem.

BUT

There is a comic style called Fumetti.

It is using photos and manipulating them into a comic.

We both love photography and you know about photoshopping.\

5:03pmTravis

could be possible

5:03pmSean

Live action but we turn them into comic panels.

5:04pmTravis

well i think that would make it much more difficult

and actually, our artwork doesnt need to be pretty

there are a lot of comics out there that are simple shapes and its all about the comedy

5:04pmSean

It doesn't.

OK So we focus on the writing. I have a few friends who are great comics artists that we could tap.

5:05pmTravis

alright

5:06pmSean

Plus, we could publish on the web AND in print. It isn't that costly to print stuff up.

5:06pmTravis

i had thought that

5:06pmSean

I have a domain name already that we could use.

5:06pmTravis

oh sweet. i would nee to brush up on my html or maybe even learn css

5:07pmSean

Short pieces and maybe a couple of recurring characters.

It is our book. We can do anything we want with it.

5:07pmTravis

the more random the better

5:07pmSean

We are random people. That is all we know.

5:07pmTravis

the strip "cyanide and happiness" comes to mind

5:08pmSean

I LOVE that strip. Amazing Super Powers is like that too only a bit more polished.

Have you ever seen Perry Bible Fellowship?

5:08pmTravis

5:09pmSean

Next time you come over I'll show you the collection. Bizarre but beautiful.

WOW! We are totally gonna make comics!

5:09pmTravis

lol

we should

no wait, we ARE

5:12pmTravis

we have to think of a catchy name

like cyanide and happiness

cause that name is tragically beautiful

5:15pmTravis

like "Chronicles of the Damned"

or something that isnt really related

lol

5:15pmSean

Free Ice Cream!

Chronicles Of The Damned sounds like a goth blog.

5:16pmTravis

lol

5:16pmSean

Or emo blog.

5:16pmTravis

we could always have a main character like "fabio" and call it "Adventures with Fabio"

5:17pmSean

Naming it will come. Whenever you have a name idea, write it down.

I like Cigarettes for Infants.

5:18pmTravis

see. stuff like that which is completely controversial

thats what sells

5:18pmSean

Or Hookers 'n Whiskey.

5:19pmTravis

Crack on the Playground

5:19pmSean

I am already coming up with stuff we could sell. Collections of strips. Shirts. Professor Rupert stuffed dolls.

5:19pmTravis

lol

5:19pmSean

Our first strip should be this very conversation.

5:20pmTravis

about how to start a comic strip?

5:20pmSean

Yep.

5:20pmTravis

i can see it

5:20pmSean

Seems fitting for us.

Have the chat conversation with illustrations of stuff we are discussing on the side.

5:21pmSean

We also aren't confined to a structure with the strip.

I could be ANYTHING.

5:22pmTravis

yep

thats the best part

5:22pmSean

This actually fulfills several things for us: art, comedy, computers.

5:23pmTravis

but we need a main character

with cameos here and there like you said

5:23pmSean

Not necessarily. We could have a revolving cast.

5:23pmTravis

ok well that works too. but they are still main characters

5:24pmSean

Or even just designing characters to drive the particular strip.

5:24pmTravis

we could call it "The Tortured Unicorn"

lol

5:24pmSean

That's RAD. That goes on the list.

5:24pmTravis

lol

are you making this list

5:26pmSean

I just cut and pasted the conversation.

5:26pmTravis

5:26pmSean

And YES.

5:26pmTravis

awesome on both counts

could call it "Glycerin Pancakes"

5:27pmSean

Something Pancakes...

Man, POOPFIST just struck me with his beam. Be back in a minute.

5:28pmTravis

haha

5:28pmSean

While I am pooping, think of a publishing schedule.

5:28pmTravis

5:28pmSean

For the strip.

5:28pmTravis

like when to publish it per week?

5:31pmTravis

i really dont know what that means

"The Pickled Martyr"

5:33pmTravis

or "Pickled Pancakes"

5:36pmSean

Should we put it out like once a week or every few days? That's a publishing schedule.

"Pancakes Of Astonishment!" With the exclamation point and everything.

5:38pmTravis

well we could probably go for every few days

5:38pmSean

Like Monday and Thursday to start.

5:38pmTravis

all we would need to do is get ahead of schedule before we start

ya that could work

see if we become good enough at this, we could get a well-known website to publish us

and theyd pay us for it

5:39pmSean

Yeah. I would definitely like a buffer zone of strips before we start putting them up. That also gives us a chance to fuck up a few.

5:39pmTravis

haha ya

5:39pmSean

Yep. And we would own it.

We would be business owners.

50-50.

5:39pmTravis

sweet

after we made some money, we could even get a merchandising company

5:41pmSean

We are ON IT.

5:42pmTravis

im totally going to sport a hat when we get this started

5:42pmSean

DAMN YOU, POOPFIST! AND TO A LESSER EXTENT, YOUR MONKEY-SCIENTIST SIDEKICK, PROFESSOR RUPERT!

Oh, we will have hats.

5:43pmTravis

i know but im saying when we get it started, i want one of the first hats

5:43pmSean

Oh, we will have the first hats.

And they will be SPECTACUKLAR.

^Or even spectacular.

I sayin' Bedazzled.

And TWO bills for double the awesome.

5:45pmTravis

lol

ixnay on the latter

5:46pmSean

Bedazzled is ok, though.

5:47pmTravis

right

5:48pmSean

This is a fantastic idea you had, by the way.

I told Yvonne. She is 100% supportive in this.

5:50pmTravis

awesome

5:51pmSean

I actually will probably get a new domain when we decide on a name. That way we can use my Treehouse site as a behind the scenes blog.

5:51pmTravis

for sure

5:52pmSean

We could think about doing light animation on certain strips, too.

I am now glad I bought that tablet.

5:52pmTravis

see? you DID buy it for a reason. you just didnt know what it was at the time

5:53pmSean

Oh yeah! I am gonna look up something. I think Google made a free program that is like Illustrator.

5:53pmTravis

5:53pmSean

Maybe is was Mozilla...

5:54pmTravis

i have illustrator

5:54pmSean

I can't remember. I saw something on it on G4.

5:54pmTravis

its just not the latest version

5:54pmSean

Doesn't need to be the latest version. Not for this.

5:56pmSean

The Adventure of The Tortured Unicorn.

And the unicorn NEVER shows up.

Horsies are hard to draw.

5:56pmTravis

lol

5:58pmSean

I think I am gonna publish this entire conversation on my Treehouse blog tonight.

5:58pmTravis

lol

5:58pmSean

If you are ok with that.

5:58pmTravis

careful though. dont want any mofos stealing our behemoth cashcow

5:58pmSean

I'll black out the names. It will leave some MYSTERY.

5:59pmTravis

if you like

6:00pmSean

Or we just don't use those names and leave them on there for the comedy.

6:00pmTravis

what

6:01pmSean

The names are funny! I like them.

How about Clownpenis?

6:01pmTravis

im just talking about someone taking this idea for themsleves

6:02pmSean

Ah. Well, there is that.

6:05pmTravis

ya other than that, i wasnt worried about releasing the names

6:06pmSean

Well, truthfully, our idea for a nonsensical comic is purposely vague enough that even if they stole it, it wouldn't have our humor.

6:06pmTravis

ya i was thinking that

6:07pmSean

Fuck it. I think I will.

6:07pmTravis

do it then

6:08pmSean

OK Gonna do it NOW.

6:08pmTravis

well, do it then

And I did.

I'm Your Ice Cream Man, Baby

2009-02-15T09:15:00.000-08:00

I have been pondering music lately. More so than usual. Specifically, why do I still play in bands? Truthfully, I have quit playing twice in my life. Both times were after becoming disillusioned with the bands I was in, seeing all the wrong and none of the right. The first time was so disastrous that I was moved to Colorado within the week. Let's delve deep into the murky past, shall we?

Music was a large part of my childhood. I associate so much of my past, locations, relations, what have you, with songs or albums. Joe Jackson's Look Sharp album, one of my all-time favorites, reminds me of my dad and bad romances. The first B-52s album is good times learning to play poker with my parents' friends. In fact, all of my love for music flows from my family. My mother loved British blues bands and had a dislike for The Beatles. My father loves all music. I have stated this before: he played me Elvis Costello and The Attractions, Black Sabbath, and many, many more all before I was ten years of age. The big one, the life-changer, was Van Halen.

Not Van Hagar, although I do like that incarnation and Sammy Hagar is damn fine guitar player in his own right, but VAN HALEN. Michael Anthony. Alex Van Halen. Diamond David Lee Roth. Eddie Van Halen. Especially Eddie. Those four together make some of the absolute best music ever. Bar none. The first two albums and 1984 were on consistently in my cheap stereo, the first two on vinyl, 1984 on cd. I'd rock out in my room while reading whatever Dungeons & Dragons Endless Quest book I had handy. Van Halen were just the perfect blend of proficient musicianship and bad-assery, all fronted by the cocksure swagger of Diamond Dave.

And then they broke up. Dave struck first with his solo stuff, swapping out Eddie for his own (well, Frak Zappa's) vitruoso guitarist: Steve Vai. Now, Vai is great and all, but, to me, he just does not have Eddie's soul. Diamond Dave ramped up the humor in his solo effort and I liked it, but it ain't Van Halen, who announced Sammy Hagar as their new front man. Ten year old me was actually pleasantly surprised. Me and Sammy go way back. Red. Bad Motor Scooter. His solo albums are good and, as a guitarist himself, it adds something Diamond Dave couldn't bring. I mean, Dave only kinda played guitar on Ice Cream Man and Sammy has some shredding tendencies.

5150 comes out and I get it. And liked it. Still do, actually. Songs about aliens and big solos everywhere. That year, my birthday rolls around, which is about a month before Christmas, and I get the new LIVE Van Halen videotape, Live Without A Net. This video gets watched almost every day. I memorize every little nuance, learning some new curse words in the process. Eddie's extended live solo gets a bit more attention than the rest (although Michael Anthony's Jack Daniels bottle bass earns extra points) as I am fascinated with how he makes all those noises with just his hands. My dad gets around to asking what I want for for Christmas and, after years of asking for Star Wars, G.I. Joe, and Transformers, I just point at Eddie Van Halen's signature Frankenstrat.

Needless to say, I did not get Eddie's guitar but I did get my first guitar, a black Synsonics electric with a speaker and tiny amplifier in the body, straight out of Toys 'R Us, and lessons from Heck Music. That poor guitar got taken everywhere, even school where I had a small recital, showing my rudimentary skills. The whole time, the goal was to be the next Eddie Van Halen. I actually learned to finger-tap before any full chords. So I had power chords and finger-tapping in my arsenal at twelve years old. And was completely terrible.

So what does this have to do with current times and why I still play in bands? Well, to be honest, I really didn't plan on playing ever again after my last band broke up. We were good and just getting tighter and poof it was gone. Drummer could not handle his wife pressuring him to quit so he did exactly that. That was it for me. I put away all my goals into a small part of my brain that was labelled "Shit That Will Never Happen". Little did I realize that I had good friends who knew what I wanted even if I didn't realize it. For a decade, I worked in a band called Fangboy And The Ghouls. I ran sound, hauled equipment, carried a softball bat, and generally handled anything for the band while they were on stage. Occasionally, I would step in and play a couple of songs with them. Fangboy eventually broke up (at least the original incarnation did) and the bass player and guitarist formed The Kill Junkies. My band was done and, as a result, I was disenchanted with going to shows. The occasional Kill Junkies show would draw me out but mostly I brooded at home, my guitars gathering dust.

Jason, one of The Kill Junkies guitarists, calls me up a few months ago. He needs a favor. Crommelin, their lead guitar player, can't make a show they have booked and could I step in for a night. Jason is my best friend, so I agree. We start rehearsing, Crommelin and Jason, both helping me learn the songs quickly, as the show is in three weeks. The show comes and goes without any major problems. A few days later, Jason calls and informs me that they really enjoyed having me around, and truth be told, I missed it. All of it. Practices. Jamming. Writing songs. Being loud. Especially that one. There is nothing like playing a loud guitar.

They asked if I would join permanently. Three guitar attack. I feigned making a decision, but

the answer was always going to be yes. I had realized that the happiest I ever am in life is when I am playing music. Everyone around me knew this but it was something I had to figure out myself. Now, I don't try to be Eddie Van Halen but I try to follow his example. The greatest thing I ever learned from him is to just play what you love and be yourself. There is no one like Eddie Van Halen and I dare say there never will be. He took his love for everything he listened to throughout his life and discovered his own unique style of playing. THAT'S THE KEY. Don't try to be Eddie; learn from him and grow.

It is about being yourself and not caring what everyone else is doing. I am in a hard rock band that has songs about jedis, the bride of Chucky, and voodoo, all the while playing slide guitar on a Gretsch Electromatic, dropping in ska rhythms and utilizing surf picking. Ultimately, I still play in bands because I absolutely love playing music for people with my friends. There is nothing else like it. This year is twenty years since I joined my first band, FERN. I don't see a stopping point any time soon.

If you are interested in what The Kill Junkies sound like, head over to The Kill Junkies Myspace page. We just finished an EP which is getting mixed. It should be available in a couple of months.

taps microphone Umm, hello? Is this thing on?

2009-01-18T14:47:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Flesh-head's Treehouse of Random Goodness. My name is Sean and I am a lazy bastard. See, the original intent of this here site was to be an outlet for all my obsessions: music, art, technology, video games, and comics. Especially comics. Eventually, everything boiled down to a set schedule of remembrances on bands I love and Comics On A Budget, my weekly review of my pull list with a eye towards affordability. The inherent problem with a rigid format is my inability to pay attention to any one thing for any sort of significant time. I like to call it Shiny Object Syndrome. Like a magpie, I will find some new thing that interests me, dive head first, and then grow bored within a few months. A shining example of this is actually right in front you. Just look at the posting dates, specifically the gaps in the dates. Full-bore brain venting and then nothing. For months.

Creative outlets should not be hard for me to come by. There is the band I am in, The Kill Junkies, where I play rhythm and slide guitar. Sing a bit of back-up, also. My beloved Moleskine hardcover notebook goes with me everywhere for a quick jotting of ideas and random quotes I hear throughout my day. Recently, The Current Wife and I purchased a nice, new digital camera, which, truthfully, fulfills two of my passions: art and technology. Delving into photgraphy has been challenging yet worthwhile. Yet, something felt like it was missing. Something needed to be addressed.

Last night, I had an epiphany. I missed The Treehouse, but I did not miss what it had evolved into: long-winded posts about my interests that ultimately left me drained and sleepy. Most of the posts at The Treehouse were written well after midnight, all the while a cigarrette dangling from my lips, and, inevitably, led to sleepytime occuring roughly around dawn. So, to counteract this, The Treehouse is going back to the core. No more set schedules. Gone is the Comics On A Budget weekly occurance. Most importantly, word count is no longer a priority. The Treehouse is reverting back to where it should be. My interests, whatever they are at that particular moment, will be showcased. It is my site, after all.

So, welcome to The Treehouse. Whatever the over-under on me sticking with this is, I'll take the over.

Comics On A Budget for June 6, 2007

2007-06-07T15:54:00.000-07:00

I am at a crossroads. As of next week, I won't have as low a budget for comics as I have now found gainful employment and can get off the government teat. So, do I continue to have a set budget or incorporate collection reviews into the mix? I already now what Mike's answer is going to be, which is to spend my entire check at Ralph's Comic Corner, but what do everyone else think? Do you want an expansion to this? Drop me a line in the Comments section below. Without further ado, let's review some stuff.

Jonah Hex #20 (current series) - I love this series, but this particular issue, while enjoyable, felt... rushed. Everything just was kinda glossed over. Jonah's rye sense of humor remains intact but, for the first time, with the return of a couple of characters previously used, it almost felt like you needed to have read the back issues to understand what was going on. Still, good stuff.
Superman #663 - Continuation of the Arion storyline. Silliness abounds with a class of young New Gods taking over Metropolis and all the while we still have a brooding Superman. He finally makes a decision and it's not what Arion wants to hear, leading to a cool ending. Plus, baby Chemos! How cute is that?
Marvel Zombies Vs. Army Of Darkness #4 - This has been just been a fun series. Ash is pretty true to his character and easily distracted by a pretty face. Lumping him into the Marvel Universe (albeit the zombie Marvel Universe) somehow works, although I am surprised by how Ash takes the fact that there are people with spectacular powers all around him in stride. Wouldn't he have some sort of comment about it? This issue has Dr. Doom, an appearance by the might Necromonicon, and a ravenous zombie Goliath. Awesome stuff.
The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger Born #5 - I have already posted my love for this series and its beautiful art. Now for a complaint. This issue cost $3.99 plus tax. For that amount, we get 23 pages of story, which constitutes less than half of the issue. The rest is ads, text pieces that highlight backstory, and the final part of a transcript of a Stephen King panel at the New York Comic Con. Now, I like the text pieces, but at four bucks a pop, I would prefer to have more of the actual comic and this would probably have been shorter by two issues. Once in a while, text pieces are fine, but comics is both words and pictures. I read prose for one thing and comics for entirely different reasons. I mean, Stephen King writes books and short stories. We don't need it in every issue of his comics, too. Still, this is fine stuff and I am looking forward to the inevitable collection.
Detective Comics #833 - This is an interesting issue guest-starring Zatanna. Batman was trained in escaping by her father, Golden Age hero Zatara (he made his first appearance in the same comic that debuted some other famous hero, Action Comics #1). Now, I think way too much about the history and interpersonal relations of comic characters, which is why I was surprised by writer Paul Dini including some backstory between Bruce Wayne and Zatanna knowing each other as children. It makes sense and both children are completely in character. My former roommate and co-conspirator in many musical endeavors, Chris "The Monster" Savoy, was actually a stage magician for a time and he taught me much about the secrets. As a result, I am a sucker for stage magic and this story revolving around the murderous mystery of a magician named Ivar Loxias is right up my alley. Plus, the return of Zatanna's tux shirt, jacket, bow tie and fishnets look can only be a positive thing.
Jack Of Fables #11 - This is the final issue of the two-part Jack Frost storyline. Jack continues to be a bastard, as usual, and trying to bed as many women as possible, as usual. We do get some interesting backstory about the War in the Homelands and Jack's small but important role in it. It's not what you think. Fine art by one of my favorites, Fables inker (and artist on the Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy adaptions) Steve Leialoha. I met him last year at the San Diego Comic Con. He drew a baby floating on a string like a balloon inside one of my Fables collections. He's a helluva nice guy.
Countdown #47 - This is just in here for reference. The same rules apply for this cycle. I'll review this in three more issues.
Uncanny X-Men #487 - It's still not new reader friendly, but this first part of the new storyline has the story settle down. I dig Salvador Larroca's art. It's a nice, moody, painted style that actually feels different than the usual primary color, splashy style that seems to infect X-titles most of the time. It matches writer Ed Brubaker's format rather nicely. We get the return of Caliban and Storm and some forward momentum on the overall story. Maybe I'll stick with this. I mean, Mr. Brubaker writes my hands-down favorite Marvel book, Daredevil, and I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Simpsons Summer Shindig (one-shot) - Hooray! This was lots of fun. The main story revolves around a few different interlocking stories of the Simpsons clan at the Springfield County Fair and all the madness that entails. The characterizations are spot-on and the art is fun. We are also rewarded with several smaller pieces to close this issue out. I dig the Bill Morrison cover. He is, quite possibly, the finest Simpsons artist on Earth. It's a shame that his real job as Editor and Art Director of all Bongo titles does not give him more time to do more comics work. He not only has every character down, he has an amazing sense of illustrative storytelling. One of the perks of working at the finest comic shoppe around was they actually have a good clientèle of people in the industry. I mean, I have had long fantastic conversations with the mighty Sergio Aragones, talked music with Los Bros Hernandez, and pulled back issues for Scott McCloud. I never did get to meet Bill Morrison, but my former boss and good friend, Mike of Progressive Ruin, got an awesome Bart Simpson sketch for me. It stays in my Sketch Archive, which includes an Eli Stone Tick, a Sergio Groo and Rufferto, a Evan Dorkin Milk and Cheese, and several Jeff Smith Bone characters. All of them have stories behind them, but that's for another time.

Comics On A Budget for June 1, 2007

2007-06-05T02:30:00.000-07:00

Wow. There has been much commotion in the House of Flesh-head in the last few days. Being that comics were released a day late due to Memorial Day, everything got thrown out of whack. It coincided with quite possibly the five of the busiest days I have had all year. They were good busy, though, with me getting a new job and scrambling around to get new tools for said job and going back and forth with the insurance company handling the pet food recall and... You know what? Let's just get down to business. Here are the reviews for last week.

Countdown #52-48 -So far, I like this series, but the pace seems a bit slow when compared with 52. Maybe it is the format. With only a few pages devoted to each storyline, writer Paul Dini can only show so much for each featured character. I am digging the Jimmy Olsen stuff and the Donna Troy storyline has potential. Still, it is only the first month. There may be cohesiveness to this in six months.

Green Lantern #20 (current series) - We wrap up the Star Sapphire storyline in this issue, actually rather quickly and lay subtle hints towards next month's Sinestro Corps storyarc. Overall, it laid the foundation for the next few months of issues. Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention Dave Gibbons' Tales of the Sinestro Corps back-up stories. Even though they enabled a two-part main story to stretch to three issues, they were quite good. They showed the main ideological differences between the wielders of the yellow and green rings while giving single story background tales that had an overall main plot. The back-ups almost had a old House of Mystery feel, with a character imparting the tales, narrator-style. Good stuff.
Action Comics #850 - Is there possibly anyone on Earth that has all 850 issues of this? That's a heap of dead trees. This one almost felt like a downer. I mean, it's the obligatory overview of Superman anniversary issue, but you get the sense of how lonely Clark actually is, y'know, being the (almost) last of his race and hailing from an exploded planet and all. There were several little things I liked, though: the Golden Age classic Supes look at the beginning, how awkward Clark was as a kid, the Ziptoned panel of Silver Age Supes fighting Gorilla Grodd, and the nod to the infamous "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" article done as tastefully as possible for an all-ages book. Still, I left this feeling kinda bummed for Kal-El. They should do the exact opposite for the next anniversary issue of Detective Comics and have Bruce Wayne just party and sleep with as many women as possible and... I don't know... maybe buy a nation or something.
The New Avengers: Illuminati #3 - I have a big problem with this series. It really should be something I should enjoy, but after every issue, it leaves my brain completely. Honest. No joke. I couldn't remember if I got issue two until my wife told me to get number three. I think she's enjoying it, but as she has been asleep for hours now, I can't really ask her. The umber one reason I started picking this up? Dr. Strange. Truly one of the underutilized greats. The split-book from the 1980's, Strange Tales, co-starring Cloak and Dagger, were what I cut my teeth on as a wee comics collector, and, to this day, I will buy ANYTHING with Dr. Strange in it. He's just a cool character. That being said, if this were an ongoing title and not a five-issue mini, I would drop this. Here's my theory of what happened in the Bullpen when this was conceived: let's take Planetary, dumb it down, take three overused characters and throw in three popular ones for fan service that have nothing better to do, and explore some of the most boring parts of the Marvel sandbox. It'll sell like hotcakes! Big fat MEH.
Hellboy: Darkness Calls #2 - So does weird shit just happen to Hellboy all the time? If you recall my review of issue one, I was sorely confused, considering I have read one Hellboy miniseries and that two-parter that was released just before this current series that had the titular character on some existential journey. With the amount of footnotes in the first two issues, I guess this series is tightly woven into the Hellboy mythos. So, after this issue, not only am I confused, but now I am intrigued but his backstory. Hecate? Some dude trying to usurp her power? An ancient demon that had its eye stolen by Hellboy? Very interesting. If anyone feels like it, drop me a line in comments to let me know where I should start because, for as lost as I am, this series is good.
Silver Surfer: Requiem #1 - What a depressing comic. I have no idea why I bought this. It really isn't something I get. For one, I know next to nothing about the Silver Surfer other than the basics: former herald to Galactus (he hungers, y'know), turns against him, has cosmic space adventures. Oh, and he surfs. Man, the 1970's were messed up. Plus, I don't read the Fantastic Four. In fact, I think the last FF thing I bought was the X-men/Fantastic Four crossover twenty years ago. Additionally, it's written by J. Michael Straczynski, which really doesn't mean anything to me as I have never seen a single episode of Babylon Five. BUT, I am a fan of artist Esad Ribic, so I curiously flipped it open and loved the splash page of Galactus' hand converting Norrin Radd (what a name for a surfer!) into the Silver Surfer. So I bought it. Sometimes that's all it takes. The watercolor art was quite nice but the story was slow. I'll flip through next issue before I decide to buy issue two.
Wolverine #54 - So I guess I am in a Wolverine phase right now. Marvel suckered me in with the whole "Logan remembers stuff now" plot twist and I have stuck with it. Ultimately, Wolvie is a solid character and having him delve into his log history is rich soil to turn. Jeph Loeb, surprisingly, at least to me, is doing a fine job writing and every issue seems to find more of Logan's voice. Artist Simone Bianchi is a fine fit for the violent adventures of Canada's Hairiest Hero (next to Sasquatch). I am as shocked a anyone. I am enjoying the hell out of this current run. Good stuff.
Daredevil #97 (current series) - The very first back issue I ever bought in my life was Daredevil #41 (first series). The cover was so cool: Daredevil in his red outfit, hands outstretched, with a blurb proclaiming "The Death of Mike Murdoch!" It was written by Stan Lee and art by Gene Colan. I was ten. I figured that the cover was cool and it was a "death" issue and cheap because it was kinda beat up, so I bought it. Ever since, Matt Murdock and his poor life have been my favorite Marvel character. I mean, the entire concept appealed to me: blind but all his other senses were heightened. Acrobat. Ninja. Everything. When Kevin Smith, then Brian Michael Bendis, took over, I was pleased. By that point, DD had lost his way. Bendis especially took Matt back to his roots (at least his Frank Miller roots) and back to the streets and had everything bad happen to him again. And he always would make it back, only to find someting worse was waiting for him. Even when Bendis was writing 1000000000 books and most not good, Daredevil stayed a quality read. I was actually bummed when he left. Current scribe Ed Brubaker took over and ramped it up, exposing Matt's identity and getting him thrown in jail, since he is classified as a vigilante and, as such, a wanted criminal. We get Matt in jail with every one of his foes, including his archnemesis the Kingpin, all the while denying that he is Daredevil. Awesome stuff. It's collected and you should get it. The current series of Daredevil is an anomoly: the best crime book today with a long-term creative team and dark, violent surprises. And it comes from Marvel? Sometimes, they do get things right. I can't really talk about this current issue as it is number three out of five in the storyline. Just go out and give it a try. Every issue's first page has a "Previously in..." recap.
Justice Society of America #6 (current series) - OK I dig the JSA and read JLA but I am looking forward to the end of this storyarc in Justice League of America #10. Each issue doesn't really answer any questions. I do like how Superman is slightly torn about this because of his former membership in the Legion of Super Heroes. Maybe I am not enjoying it as much because I am not that big of LSH fan. Next issue of JSA should pick as it is the fallout of this storyline.Oh and the next issue blurb kinda let it slip that Starman is sticking around. Oops!

Comics On A Budget for the week of 05-23-07

2007-05-28T05:52:00.000-07:00

This is extremely late as it is, so let’s get right down to it.

• Countdown #49 –As I stated last week, this series will be reviewed monthly by me. Short review: good.

• Futurama #31 –This is my favorite property Matt Groening ever produced. I mean, I am a huge Simpsons fan and read Life In Hell for years, but as a card-carrying science nerd, Futurama appeals to every single part of my comedic psyche. The show was regrettably cancelled well before its time. Lucky for us, dvd sales were excellent, so we get all-new shows and movies at the end of this year. To fill that gap, Bongo Comics published the Futurama comic and what a series it has turned out to be. It not only expands on the silly, sarcastic, intelligent nature of the show, but includes many comic book references as well. Take this issue, for example, which deals with illegal immigration from other planets when numerous wormholes pop up in the Planet Express office. Appearing in cameos: Mork from Ork, Great Gazoo, Brak, Zoidberg as Man-thing (with Howard the Duck on the same page), and even a Skrull. For a long stretch of its’ run, Futurama the comic was written by writers of Futurama the show, but with them now working on the first of the movies, scripting is in the capable hands of Ian Boothby, writer of Simpsons Comics. I recommend this series highly.

• Hellblazer #232 –Some books I buy out of habit. This would be one of them. Let’s make myself feel old, shall we? When I was entirely too young to be reading anything remotely like Hellblazer, I bought the first twenty issues for dirt cheap while on vacation at my aunt and uncle’s house in Visalia, CA. They were the only twenty issues out. My parents essentially reared me as an adult so I wasn’t worried about getting in trouble for possessing them. I was absolutely floored by the storytelling and art. It was different. John Constantine was not really a hero but did have a small sliver of honor in him. He was brutal and liked to curse. Even at that age, I was fascinated by British culture. And so here we are, 212 issues later and DC is still publishing John’s extremely messed up life. I love Sandman. Fables is the best Vertigo book out there. Hellblazer is the true cornerstone of the little slice of violent heaven that is Vertigo Comics. This particular issue seems like we are finally getting back to John Constantine being an absolute ruthless bastard. No more homeless John and life shitting on him. He cleanses himself as only John can, gets some money and a new suit, and, most importantly, MAGIC. For personal gain. I buy this out of habit. My habit feels like it is about to get fun again.

• Shadowpact #13 –Really, I don’t have much to say about this issue. The last couple of issues wrapped up a whole bunch of storylines. This one features the titular magical hero team on only one page! Instead, we get set-up of the various villains that are lining up to face them. Overall, this series has a few things going for it: well-written by Fables’ scribe Bill Willingham, nice art by Scott Hampton, and the team has Detective Chimp and long-time favorite of mine, Blue Devil. I recommend this issue as it is a perfect jumping-on point.

• The Spirit #6 (current series) –I have always been a sucker for the history of comics and you you don’t get much better than Will Eisner’s The Spirit. I mean, it is what everything good about comics is based upon. When DC announced that they were going to be publishing this current series, I will admit that I was hesitant. Mr. Eisner had passed away and his writing and art were what made Denny Colt and his world so cool. That is, until I found out J Bone was on art chores. Man, he has been one of those artists that epitomize what I look for in comic art: cartoony, flashy, and a good sense of framing. And Darwyn Cook’s writing? Sold! This is some seriously talented stuff coming out. The best part is that there are no multi-part storyarcs. Anybody can pick up any issue and know what is going on, without really having to investing time digging through a backstory, as great as said backstory is. I think everybody who reads comics should get this series and then check out some of DC’s fine Spirit Archives to understand why they named the comics awards The Eisners.

• Madman #2 (current series) –I am a huge fan of Mike Allred and think he is one of the most talented artists alive. That being said, I think I might be out of my Madman phase of my life. I mean, this has been a good read so far but for the life of me I couldn’t remember what happened in issue one while I was reading issue two. And that usually isn’t a good sign for me. This issue was pretty and the metaphysical stuff was kinda intriguing, but I might give this another issue and then drop it. Let’s check back next month.

• X-Men #199 –I couldn’t stop buying this comic even if I wanted to, as long as Chris Bachalo is the artist. Se, he’s my wife’s all-time favorite comic book artist and his art on the two Death mini-series are what cemented her as a comics fan. I like him just fine, although I don’t think I particularly care for his work on this run of X-Men. Plus, the story, surprise surprise, is too convoluted. I know, big shock. An X-title with too much going on at once. Ehh. At least this storyarc is over. Next month is a “special” book being as it is #200. Sheesh. I remember buying #1 on the stands. That seems so long ago.

• Satan’s Sodomy Baby (one-shot) –OK Let’s get this outta the way first. I have never read a single page of The Goon. I hear good things, but this is called Comics On A Budget, remember? This here comic was recommended by good friend, Mike, of Progressive Ruin and my former employer, Ralph’s Comic Corner (25 years and still going strong!). This review is for him. Mike, what the fuck did you sell me? A baby antichrist with an ever-expanding monster cock? Copious amounts of redneck poop? Buggering a pig? A two-page splash of The Goon shoving said antichrist into an ass? Gratuitous, well-rendered lady boobs? Illustrations offending every major religion? So wrong. So crude. So offensive.

How did you know I would love it! Thanks, Mike! You’re the best!

Late Night Rambling

2007-05-19T02:36:00.000-07:00

When I sit down to write on here, I usually don’t have a gameplan. Only on review day do I actually have a set agenda. The rest of the time, I sit down, apply flame to an individually rolled cancer delivery system, and type whatever vomits forth from my brain. That is the crux of my problem. Some days, I just have nothing and no post goes up. I do have other options outside of this here blog and sometimes they take precedence. I’ve been playing guitar more due to laying down tracks for my friends’ new cd. There’s this long-form written piece I have been compiling notes for, with having to slog through outlines and character studies, all based on a short story I wrote ten years ago. That stuff is not really what I consider “writing”, more like file-keeping. Then there is real life: consoling my wife whose grandmother just passed away, contacting the proper parties concerning the pet food recall which almost killed our cat, interviewing for a new job, sending both my Nintendo DS and Xbox 360 in for warranty repairs when they died within a day of each other… This here blog just gets bumped down the priority list, which is a double-edged sword, as I consider writing on here somewhat a therapy session. Smoking, listening to metal loud on the noise-cancelling headphones, clacking away… heaven.

It’s the actual process of my writing that I find so enchanting. I started reading when I was very young and went directly into shaping my own stories. As a shy child with no siblings and very few friends, I found solace in my imagination. Never one for long stories, I usually wrote what I guess would be called “scenes”, where I would give no backstory and would just directly jump in feet-first. In, out. One to two pages. Blam. In fact, my senior year of high school, I wouldn’t just scribble “keep in touch, dude”. For a few of my friends, I asked them to give me a term, say “shoes” for example, and I would write a very short story on it. It made it different and interesting for me. There would always be fictional stuff floating around in my head, but my favorite, truthful stuff I never showed anyone.

Hands down, my favorite writer of all time is Hunter S. Thompson and he completely changed my life. When I was about twelve years old, I stumbled across a book entitled Cosmic Banditos, by A.C. Weisbecker, which had been misfiled into the Children’s Section at my local Crown Books. It was most definitely not a kid’s book, as it paralleled drug running and quantum physics. Flipping though it, I was amazed at how funny it was and my dad, being the permissive science nerd parent he is, bought it for me. One day was all it took to finish. Afterward, I loaned it to him and when he was done with it, asked me if I remembered a movie we had watched together called Where The Buffalo Roam. He then informed me that it was based on a real guy who was a writer named Hunter. One trip to Crown later, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas was in my eager hands.

His writing style floored me and I purchased as many of his works as I could. He wrote everything so factually yet none of this seemed real. How could he even survive to tell the tale considering the copious amounts of drugs and alcohol coursing through his system? As entertaining as it was, it was phrasing which always stuck with me. How describing something so ugly could be so beautiful. How he could be so caustic about people and yet lovingly describe a near-death experience while flying down PCH late at night on his Vincent Black Shadow motorcycle. Hunter S. Thompson irrevocably changed me. I paid more attention to politics and journalism, how important friends are and who the bastards are. Most importantly, writing changed. Gradually, my fictional pieces fell away and out started pouring ultra-personal journal pieces. The wording mattered more and how to phrase something was integral. A bit of fiction never hurts as long as the overall story is truthful. No boundaries whatsoever. Nothing is off-limits. Hell, I’m just as willing to tell you about my breakfast as my two-year addiction to cocaine. It all comes down to learning from life and erasing the badness.

In fact, that is precisely what I want to achieve with this blog. I don’t really think about who reads it, although a few friends do come here regularly. This entire thing is somewhat of a writing exercise and my sole audience is me. My wife theorizes that I don’t get a lot of visitors because they are turned off by the long-form format, but that is something I can’t allow to creep into my psyche. All it will do is force me to second-guess what comes out. And I can’t. This is more for me than anyone else and if I inform or entertain anyone along the way, great, but this is therapy, remember? No one said that is would be easy. Or even punctual.

Except for on Thursdays. The Comics On A Budget column is part of my on-going effort to get people to realize that there are still great comics out there. If a comic is crap, the solution is easy. Just don’t buy it. Don’t go anonymously post endlessly on some forum while still buying it in hopes that the powers-that-be will listen. Just shut your mouth and stop buying it. Comics are a wonderful world where there is literally something for everyone. Maybe give an independent creator a try sometime. You might be surprised. Hell, even some of the mainstream stuff is still palatable. Or, better yet, WRITE OR DRAW YOUR OWN. It’s simple. Take what you like or don’t like about comics and learn and grow. Like I did with Hunter.

Comics On A Budget for 5-16-07

2007-05-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

It’s Thursday and that means it’s time once again for my weekly review of my pull list. Let’s get crackin’.

• Justice League of America #9 (current series) – OK This book has two things I hate going against it: a storyline that goes through two titles and overly detailed art. Let’s deal with the storyline. I am enjoying it and, luckily, I already buy Justice Society of America, which is where the other half is appearing, but I normally drop a book if they pull a stunt like this. Secondly, Ed Benes’ art is not really my cup of tea. It’s nice but I prefer a more… cartoony style, for lack of a better term. Brad Meltzer’s story is rather intriguing and has made me ever so slightly interested in the Legion of Super Heroes for the first time in my life.

• Uncanny X-men #486 – This title is on the bubble and the only reason I got this issue is that it is the last part of a twelve-issue story arc. I am not digging the art and the story was just too convoluted. And that’s coming from someone who has access to a living X-men encyclopedia: my wife. I do like the new character Darwin and his mutant ability to adapt to survive. An interesting story could send this character over the top like a Stallone movie. Still, the wife and I have to discuss whether this is enough to keep us reading.

• Simpsons Comics #130 –As always, fine stuff. I wrote about Simpsons Comics in an old Comics for Under $20 column but it’s worth repeating: every month, Bongo Comics consistently puts out some of the funniest comics today. The writers often reference little stuff the avid Simpsons geek in me loves. The art is clean and spot-on . Every issue is self-contained, so someone could pick up any issue and not have to worry about a convoluted storyline. And, best of all, every so often, Evan Dorkin does a story, either here or in Bart Simpson Comics. Give it a try. You won’t be disappointed.

• Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America #3 –I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out why I am still reading this. Morbid curiosity, maybe? I honestly feel that Marvel dropped the ball with this whole Civil War thing, even though I bought every issue and am buying this title. Killing one of the most important characters ever created just for a brief mention on the news feels so… dirty. I will be the first to admit that I know very little about Cap as I was never really a fan, but that doesn’t take away from the impact he has had on comics. And does anyone really believe Cap is going to stay dead? Only Uncle Ben and Gwen Stacy stay dead in Marvel and these days even that sacred ground feels like it could be razed.

• X-factor #19 (current series) –This is arguably the best x-title published today. Peter David writes good comics. Remember that. A mutant team that’s not really a team. They protect Mutant Town and try to solve cases while they are at it. This title spun out of Madrox, an underrated comic starring one of my favorite characters, Jamie Madrox, The Multiple Man. Peter David wrote that one, too. Go find back issues of it. X-factor’s art, done by newcomer Khoi Pham, is quite good. Pretty, gritty, and detailed without being overly cluttered. This particular issue is a bit slow but does fine in pushing the overall storyline forward. Also, I want to state that I feel that this is the only x-title that seems to remember that there aren’t supposed to be a lot of mutants with powers out there. All the other books feel like “business as usual”. And that ain’t good.

• Batman #665 –Completely awesome. Grant Morrison and Andy Kubert are spinning a story that quite possibly could be the next renaissance for Batman. A few column ago, I discussed that Spider-man, Archie, and The Avengers were what got me into comics. Batman is what made me who I am today: a full-fledged, die-hard comics nerd. I lived and breathed Batman stories when I was a kid. From Dark Knight to Year One to Killing Joke to Batman #400, which is quite possibly my favorite comic book ever, I devoured them all. I go through Batman phases like I do with Superman and just recently decided to drop them due to budget concerns. I actually bought this out of habit by accident and I am so glad I did. Oh Batman, let us never fight again!

• Action Comics #849 –I am never comfortable mixing religion and comics. This was the second part of a two-part storyline and it was good, but not great. The religious angle was handled tactfully and placed Supes firmly in the non-denominational category. He has a “crisis of faith”, as the cover helpfully pointed out. All in all, it felt like a couple of filler issues.

• Countdown #50 –Actually, I have decided to review these in one month increments. I want to have an overview four issues at a time. Suffice to say, I did like this issue.

• Fables #61 –This is my favorite comic book published today. I have already raved about Fables in a previous column, so I don’t feel the need to repeat myself. Suffice to say, the quality of the comic has never dropped. Sure, there have been slow points but that would be because creators Mark Buckingham, Bill Willingham, and Steve Leialoha do have other projects. One can tell that this title is their baby, though. This current issue is part two of Fly’s storyarc, entitled The Good Prince, and the ramping up of the Fable war. I implore you to check out all of the Fables collections and 1001 Nights of Snowfall, an original piece that fills in some of the gaps in backstory. All are fantastic. Start with book one, Legends In Exile. All have beautiful art and intelligent, humorous writing. There really is no other comic like it being published today.

• All-Star Batman and Robin The Boy Wonder #5 –HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I freaking LOVE this title and will gladly scream it to the heavens. I also love how people get up in arms about how “wrong” this book is. It has been over a YEAR since the last issue and I can still remember every last detail. My favorite thing about this title is how Jim Lee has grown as an artist. The two page spread of Batman racing across rooftops, smiling the whole time, is classic. To me, the point Frank Miller is making with this book is showing the characters at the far extreme of their personalities: Wonder Woman is a man-hater, Robin is a punk little kid, Plastic Man is nuts… It’s great! Batman’s characterization is the best. In his eyes, Gotham City is a virus and he’s the violent, bloody cure. I would recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t go on comic book forums and actually read comics for what they are, a distraction.

I Love This Game

2007-05-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

Sundays have meant one thing to me for twenty-seven years. Roll out of bed, groggily turn on the television, and watch a day game featuring my Los Angeles Dodgers. It was 1980. Steve Garvey. Pedro Guerrero. Ron Cey. Jerry Reuss. Bill Russell and Don Sutton winding down their careers. Most importantly, my favorite player ever, Mike Scioscia, was making his major league debut. Fernando Valenzuela started the season by pitching a 2-0 shutout in his debut in the bigs, on his way to winning the Cy Young Award and leading the team to winning the World Series. What a year to become a fan and it is all due to one little old lady.

My family is very sports-oriented. My grandfather was a basketball coach at the high school and collegiate level for twenty years. Four of my cousins received four year scholarships for basketball, one for baseball and one for track. My mother and uncle were track athletes, with Scott holding the county record for high jump for over twenty years. I was in sports, with track and field, football, and wrestling on my resume, but my sports career is quite unremarkable. I probably could have been a decent lineman in football and was offered varsity in my sophomore year in high school, but I was more interested in drinking and playing in my band and dropped football altogether.

With my grandpa a coach, I spent considerable amount of time on the hardwood floor but have never had any sort of skill at basketball. Because of this, I have been trained to watch basketball from a coaching perspective. I pay attention to how teams react under pressure and what kind of defense is on. Ever since Chick Hearn died, I just cannot watch basketball on television, though. There really is nothing like hearing the squeak of the shoes and seeing a spectacular assist live. Baseball, on the other hand, I can watch anytime, anywhere.

I spent lots of time at my grandparents’ house when I was young and sports were always on. My great-grandmother was a huge Dodger fan and, as a result, I became a huge baseball fan. She had been a long-time watcher and taught me the history of the game. There is no other professional team sport that has been around as long in America. I agree that there are overpaid players in the league, but for every multimillionaire, there are five players making the league minimum and playing for the love of the game. Major League Baseball keeps statistics for everything and has for a hundred years. I love seeing a record that hasn’t been broken for over one hundred years, like Charlie Sweeney’s dubious feat of giving up seven home runs in 1886. I like how all the parks are different, giving an extra challenge to each series. Most of all, baseball is ultimately friendly competition. Opposing players chat while at first base; I see Dodgers’ first baseman Nomar Garciaparra do it all the time.

This morning, my wife woke me up to tell me the Dodgers are playing the Atlanta Braves. So I roll out of be, groggily turn on the television, and watch a day game featuring my Los Angeles Dodgers. I yelled at the TV while the Dodgers blew a three-run lead. Just like my great-grandmother would twenty years ago.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

2007-05-05T03:05:00.000-07:00

I watched a fantastic documentary tonight. Entitled This Film Is Not Yet Rated, and put out by the Independent Film Channel, it focuses on the secret organization known as the Motion Picture Association of America, specifically the arbitrary way it gives out NC-17 ratings. Director Kirby Dick interviews numerous directors who have received the rating, including Kevin Smith, Matt Stone, John Waters, who, as always, is his entertaining self, and Kimberley Peirce, director and co-writer of Boys Don’t Cry, and also various First Amendment attorneys and film historians. Interspersed throughout is footage of his investigation of the board as the MPAA is a secret organization, with none of its members disclosed save for the chairman. Oh, and Jack Valenti, creator of the MPAA. Dick felt that the public had a right to know who was dictating morals in film. He’s absolutely right.

I have two great loves in my life: film and free speech. My major in college was film, specifically animation, but as a former drug-abusing musician, I dropped out. My passion for cartoons and movies in general has never waned, although my tastes might not be everyone’s cup of tea. In my eyes, Troma movies are just as enjoyable as Rashomon or Citizen Kane. On the free speech tip, I think I am into my seventh year as a member of the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, a wonderful organization dedicated to protecting comic retailers and creators’ rights. Censorship in any form is terrible and should never be allowed by a country that proclaims itself to be free.

Back to the film. It was informative and entertaining without being preachy and one comes away from it feeling that the MPAA bullies its way into imposing its own values on creative types. For example, they don’t have a problem with violence or mainstream, heterosexual, Missionary-style sex, but throw in another woman or same-sex partners and BAM! Instant NC-17. Shoot someone but don’t show any blood? Have a PG-13! To me, this is completely ass-backwards. Sure, there are a few action films I like, but mostly for how they are shot. The composition of a scene matters more to me than how many explosions per foot of film are stuffed in. Except when it comes to Troma style or independent films. Then it is all about creativity and attempt. Plus, it helps if a movie can make me laugh. I am a sucker for a comedic script, but there must be a brain in there. Getting laughs through uncomfortable means is cheap and easy. Sheesh. I guess I am rather picky in my tastes. I guess that explains why I only go to like one film in a theatre a year, yet I watch tons of dvds and IFC. Anyway, try to catch This Film Is Not Yet Rated or even rent it, although that might be difficult. The MPAA gave it a NC-17, so Blockbuster and Wal-mart won't carry it.

Comics On A Budget: Week One

2007-05-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

When I first started this site, three years ago, my goal was to be solely comics-oriented, by spotlighting certain books and characters I have enjoyed throughout the years. I like to think I have some credibility as a critic and commentator. For one, this is my twenty-fifth year reading comics. I helped manage one of the finer direct retail shops, Ralph’s Comic Corner, located in Ventura, CA, for about two years and was taught how to grade books by the Ralph of Ralph’s Comic Corner. I trust his eyes more than any kind of “official grading house”. Companies that slab and grade are, in my opinion, notoriously wrong and often give grades that entail disclaimers. For example, I once saw a slabbed book that touted a “Near Mint” grade that had a popped staple in the spine. That is not near mint. Most importantly, I am a big proponent of reading comics and not buying for investment. They are meant to be read and enjoyed, not signed and sold. True, I do have a few books signed by the creators, but those are for my collection and they will never be sold. Besides, signing a comic means pen or Sharpie on the cover and that lowers the grade. Signed comics are definitely a specialty market and the prices are arbitrary and subjective. If you want to collect something for monetary gain, try baseball cards. Those bring you more money.

I stopped writing The Treehouse for a few reasons, mostly due to the limitations of time and inspiration. There were already sites out there doing what I was trying to accomplish with The Treehouse with better opinions or a larger fanbase. It was disheartening. So I stopped. Ever since, my brain has been taunting me. I love writing and needed some sort of creative outlet. With my ever-present notepad in hand, I started examining my favorite sites to visit and taking notes, listing pros and cons, and came up with a formula for what I wanted The Treehouse to be. First, limited pictures: hotlinking seems to be a problem with most sites, so if I did not have pictures, I would not have a problem. I experimented with this in my first post back and I did find some linking to them. That is why I credited Destructoid and used their pictures. They provided the code to use them, so I did. Next, I wanted more of a long-form style of writing, not a bullet-point style. I am much more comfortable if I can start at one point, usually loosely connected to my main topic but not necessarily so, and am allowed to write whatever my brain leads to. Stream-of-consciousness writing has always been my favorite style. So, I set a word count goal and have to hit it before I finish with the current piece. The Treehouse is more about writing exercise than current events. Lastly, there would be no boundaries. This includes my personal life, any opinions I have, and topics. With this one, I have to thank one of my co-conspirators in the Associated Comics and Pop Culture Webloggers of Ventura County, CA and Outlying Environs, Tom, and his fantastic site, You Know What I Like? He will talk about anything and I found that to be inspirational. In fact, that ultimately is what led me to coming back.

Here we are coming back full-circle. In making my notes for what I wanted to cover on here, I really wanted to bring back my old “How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20” column, but having a money cap seemed too limiting. Remember, there were to be no boundaries this time around. My reading tastes have evolved somewhat, but I am not made of money. Some weeks, I spend more than that, although I am less willing to stick out a slow period on a book. The chopping block comes out more often these days. So here we are with a new format that I call “Comics On A Budget”. On Wednesdays, I will post reviews of what I got that week. This leaves room for me to try to stick close to a budget and tell you my opinion on what makes a comic enjoyable, hopefully tempting you to check out a new title or two. Let’s go through my pull list for Wednesday, May 2, 2007.

• 52 #52 (final issue)- When I was younger, Action Comics experimented with a weekly format, with it focusing not just on perennial star of the book, Superman, but including stories on secondary characters like Black Canary. It ultimately did not sell very well and went back to a monthly format and all-Superman stories. 52 succeeds where Action Comics Weekly failed by having a year-long storyline or four and a finite issue count. By having A-list writers focusing on second-tier characters, we get to see what really makes DC work as a company: its depth. There is such a rich history at DC that characters like Rip Hunter and Booster Gold can have good stories given a proper writer and direction. This particular issue wrapped everything up quite nicely. I especially enjoyed the labeling of the different properties DC has bought over the years with Earth designations, like giving the Fawcett universe the title of “Earth-5”. This is one series that I am hoping will be collected and gives me hope for the next weekly experiment, Countdown.

• Astonishing X-Men #21- Planetary is one of my all-time favorite titles and one big reason is John Cassaday’s art. His style is very clean and dynamic. So, when Marvel announced that he would be handling art chores on Joss Whedon’s take on the X-Men, I followed like the dutiful sheep that I am. His art is just as good as it was on Planetary, but he gets less chance to draw Mothra carcasses. If I have one complaint about this book, it would be the writing. Not that it is bad, mind you. At times, the stories seem a bit meandering or unfocused. This is one of only two X-titles I read anymore, with Uncanny X-Men being the other one. I am a slave to Chris Bachalo’s art. I enjoy both titles very much, but if the stories don’t pick up soon, even with good art, I’ll be dropping these to make room for the Batman titles I recently dropped.

• The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger Born #4- Stephen King has long been someone I have enjoyed. Admittedly, I have not read anything recent, but growing up, I read almost everything he had out. My favorite stories he wrote were the Dark Tower series. The story of Roland of Gilead and his pursuit of the Man In Black, but so much more than that, incorporating a seemingly post-apocalyptic Old West and knights and sorcery and time travel, all wrapped around the mythology of most of King’s work. Truly epic writing, consisting of seven books. The comic adaption actually starts during book four, Wizard And Glass, in which Roland relays the start of his gunslinging career. Marvel is doing a fine job with this. Jae Lee and Richard Isanove’s art is beautiful, with Robin Furth’s writing and Peter David’s spot-on dialogue shining through, albeit at a slightly slow pace. Each issue has a text piece coda that gives more back-story to their world, either describing how the gunslingers came to be or the various locations. This series is highly recommended.

• Green Lantern #19 (current series) - I never would have thought I would become a Hal Jordan fan. The various GL books that have been published over the years have never really been my cup of tea. Plus, the debacle that is the “Kyle/Hal” debate among opinionated comics fans really turned me off to both sides of the argument. The return of Hal did pique my interest, though. I was curious how DC would handle trying to keep both sides happy with bringing back Hal but not discrediting Kyle’s contribution. Personally, I think they have done a bang-up job with Hal, but have dropped the ball with Kyle. Ion, the new book with Kyle as the star, is boring and the art is not the best. The core Green Lantern book, on the other hand, has been exceptional. Geoff Johns has long been one of my favorite writers and, although the amount of books he writes troubles me occasionally, he seems to do a fine job overall. Daniel Acuna’s art fits GL’s style and gives off a larger-than-life feel. The current Star Sapphire storyline is big and fun, and Hal’s trademark wit causes the story to breeze along. GL is one of the five books I look forward to the most every month.

• Hellboy: Darkness Calls #1 – The Hellboy universe is something I came to considerably late. Lately, for some reason, though, it has fascinated me. I love Mike Mignola’s art style and his writing is solidly quirky. As a result, this new storyline confused me. Duncan Fegredo’s art works quite well with Hellboy, but I think I need to pick up some older stories to make some sense of this. I would recommend this if you have a decent grasp on Hellboy, but if you do, you probably already bought this.

• Jonah Hex #19 – Ah yes. I cannot endorse this book enough. The biggest shocker is that there is not a Vertigo tag at the top of this book. It is a full-fledged DC core universe title. Self-contained issues of the brutal adventures of the titular character. Next to Fables, this is the one book every month that I look forward to the most. A no-nonsense look at DC’s Old West through the eyes of Jonah Hex, former Confederate soldier turned bounty hunter who lives by his own moral code. His most distinguishing characteristic is a severe facial scar on the right side of his face. The best part about this title is that anyone can jump on with any issue and understand the story, as there have been very few multiple issue storyarcs. I endorse this title with full voice. If interested, there is a collection of the first few stories available for cheap.

• Justice Society of America #5 (current series) – First off, this title is not really new reader friendly. The JSA has been around for over sixty years and has all the DC continuity depth that comes with that. Having said that, that is precisely why I love this book. Also written by Geoff Johns, with art chores by Fernando Pasarin, JSA #5 is part two of a crossover with the new incarnation of the Justice League of America title. The coolest part of this particular issue is the return of Dr. Destiny and the references to the Dreaming from Neil Gaiman’s mighty Sandman series. Dr. Destiny’s storyline in Sandman is one of the more brutal and integral issues, catapulting him from silly JLA villain to a sadistic, insane killer. If you are well-versed in DC history, give JSA a whirl.

• Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness #3 – The first Marvel Zombies series is one I regret not getting on the first go-round, especially after getting into this series. The Evil Dead film series is one I have committed to memory. Crossing over main character, Ash, with Marvel heroes and turning them into Deadites is just silly fun. Sometimes, that is all I require from a comic. Silly fun that I recommend if you like witnessing a zombie Hawkeye eat brains.

• Shazam! The Monster Society of Evil #3 – I have been waiting for this series for two years. Writer/ artist Jeff Smith is one creator I will literally read anything by. In fact, at the beginning of this column, I discussed having very few signed books. Those include hardcover collections of his seminal book, Bone, which Mr. Smith was very kind to sign and include a sketch of one of his characters on the inside cover of each book. I got those not for selling, but because I respect his work. Shazam! is his first major non-creator owned work and it is a doozy. Light-hearted all-ages fare that hearkens back to main character Captain Marvel’s early days, updating his origin story while holding on to the spirit of his past. Great stuff and worth picking up if you can get past the $5.99 price point.

• Superman #662 – The Superman books are cyclical for me. I’ll read all the various Superman books for a while, then burn out and hold off. This is the middle of my “enjoying Superman” period and, luckily, the books have been good. The storyline in the core Superman book has been interesting, with the main character dealing with something he does not understand, magic, all the while searching for a rumored third Kryptonian. Standard superhero fare, but sometimes that is all I want.

Incidentally, my wife has a blog entitled The Feminine Miss Geek. All things nerd from an intelligent female perspective. It’s good stuff and tell her I sent ya.

Music And Comics: Anthrax

2007-05-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

On Saturday nights while I was growing up, Headbangers Ball was a tradition and I would sit there, transfixed. Metal is my preferred music form. I love all music and can find something to enjoy in any genre, but metal is where it’s at. My father encouraged this, gifting me his extensive record collection when he had to move to a studio apartment, which means I had the first four Black Sabbath records before my tenth birthday. Every Led Zeppelin album. Blue Cheer. It feels like I came out of the womb throwing up the horns.

3-2-1 Contact was one of my absolute favorites growing up. My memory is quite hazy on the show except for one small clip they aired. The only reason it has stuck with me all these years later is that it led to my very first musical epiphany. Time-lapsed camerawork was used to show what went into setting up a KISS concert. It starts with an empty stadium and finishes with KISS taking the stage. They fascinated me. Who were these living cartoons? How did the guitar player shoot fireworks out of his instrument? That one guy is really tall and scary in a cool way. I do not remember which parent I asked, but it was probably my dad. We went to Sears with my meager allowance savings and purchased my first album, KISS Alive. Just for reference, my next two purchases were The Muppet Movie soundtrack and a Ktel compilation called Solid Gold, because it had Devo’s Whip It and that Shaddupyouface song. That album was the first place I heard Blondie.

That did it. I can legitimately claim to be a twenty-seven year KISS fan. For years, KISS Alive was the only KISS I knew until my first cd player, when I took my gift certificate to Music Plus and traded it for KISS Double Platinum and Van Halen’s 1984. KISS gets a considerable amount of flak for being merchandising whores, arguably deservedly so, but they do not get much credit for being solid songwriters. If one gets past the make-up and the glitz, there are some very good pop songs in there. Hey, I hate Beth as much as anyone, but songs like Love Gun, Black Diamond, and 10000 Years are catchy as all get out. Ace is a phenomenal lead guitar player when sober, Gene, for all his ego and weird quirks, is a funky, Motown-inspired bass player, Paul has an amazing range vocally, and Peter is a talented drummer and underrated singer in his own right.

Next up for devotion was Iron Maiden. My dad had a poster on the back of his front door of Eddie, Maiden’s mascot, ripping through the wall that stretched its entire length. I thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen in my life. I asked him about it, but he didn’t now more than the fact that it was an Iron Maiden. They were a bit too heavy for his tastes. He just liked the art. This is actually a pivotal point in my development for both music and comics. A few years earlier, I had contracted the dreaded chicken pox. At this time, I was living with my grandparents and quarantined to the front room, which had no television. Boredom and I became very close during that time. My father came to visit and changed my life forever. He brought with him comic books, Amazing Spider-man, Avengers, and an Archie Digest, to help me pass the time. I had never seen such things. Reading and writing have always been dear things in my life, but reading with pictures?

I probably read those books one hundred times and just had to have more. See, my dad had read comics as a kid and thought I would like them. Boy was he right. So much so that I eventually helped manage my local comic store, Ralph’s Comic Corner, for a couple of years and still shop there every week. He did not still read the mainstream stuff but was an avid collector of Heavy Metal and some underground books, mostly Gilbert Shelton, all of which eventually became mine when he moved. A short time later, he started letting me read said Heavy Metals and Wonder Wort-Hogs, around the same time as the Iron Maiden door poster question. Curiosity is one of my better traits and television came to my rescue.

I started avidly watching Headbangers Ball and that is where the door question was answered. The video shown was Run To The Hills. Grainy black and white footage of cowboys fighting Native Americans interspersed with performance footage of Iron Maiden. Driving music with amazing vocals was sunk into me like a fish hook into flesh. The next day, I took what savings I had again to Music Plus and bought Live After Death. Ever since Alive, I have preferred live recordings, culminating in having a decent bootleg collection and an extensive live cd and dvd library. Live is where I live. Usually, it is a good way to get the hits and, in my opinion, if a band cannot pull it off live, they are not worth my time.

The Ball was also responsible for introducing me to my favorite band. Due to my steady diet of Moebius art and mostly buying my comic books from direct market shops like Ralph’s Comic Corner and Livery Books or scouring the back issue bins used book store Second Time Around or strange catch-all downtown store Truebloods, I was more willing to go outside of the mainstream and try out independent comics. Judge Dread, Grendel, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles became steady reads. That is when I saw it. A video came on that had been filmed live. It was metal and fast. The singer’s vocal style was similar to Bruce Dickinson, lead singer for Iron Maiden. They panned to the lead guitar player and he had Donatello, Raphael, Leonardo, and Michelangelo decorating his flying v. Then they cut to the other guitar player and that image is what sold me: Judge Dread adorning the entire back half of the body of his guitar. Comics featured in a metal band!

At the store the next day, I examined their cassettes. By this time, my two constant companions were my mountain bike and my Walkman. I went everywhere with them. The first Anthrax tape I bought was Among The Living and it was the song title “I Am The Law” that sold me. Listening to it on the way home, I discovered that not only were they comics geeks but wrote songs about Stephen King stories I liked. I have never looked back and have stuck with them ever since. In fact, my dream guitar sound is what Scott Ian uses: clear and heavy with a lot of bottom end. He is my favorite guitar player. Unfortunately, I have never seen them live, but not for lack of trying. I won two tickets to see them when they were touring with Public Enemy and Primus. My best friend and bass player in FERN, Lance, offered to buy a friend of ours a ticket to the show if he drove us, as we were not quite old enough to drive. He agreed. We got the ticket and waited. He never showed. The following Monday at school, our now-former friend was on the receiving end of a black eye. I punched someone in the face for Anthrax.

The San Diego Comic-Con has been the source of several great memories for me, but one of the best is the year of the Mr. Show reunion panel. The panel itself was full of silliness but that is not the memorable part. On the way out, I see Brian Posehn walking down the hallway. Next to him is a short bald man with a large goatee. It was Scott Ian! I stopped in my tracks. All I could do was point and say “Holy shit!” He looks over, says “What’s up, man?” and flashes me the metal sign. My second greatest Comic-Con moment is getting the horns from my guitar hero.

Chop Socky

2007-04-30T02:30:00.000-07:00

As an only child to a single mother, I spent a considerable amount of time with her friends or staying over at her parents’ house. There were drawbacks, like learning to mix drinks by the time I was eight, which would lead to my own battles with drugs and alcohol. Don’t worry, Dad, I am completely clean now and have been for several years. There were advantages, though. A prime example would be the fact that I was allowed to watch anything I wanted. Even though my parents have been divorced since I was three years old, my parents stayed friends and both took a very real interest in my upbringing. They would explain anything I saw in a film logically, my dad more so than my mom.

The first movie I remember seeing in the theatre, technically at the drive-in, is Stripes. The old 101 Drive-In is now, like everything else wonderfully old in this nation, a strip-mall. It was the archetypal drive-in, with double features, Woody Woodpecker and Chilly Willy cartoons, terrible sound from a speaker that hung from your door, and slightly disturbing food stand selling mysterious hot dogs and overpriced sugar water. I got to see Stripes because, from what I can remember, my mom couldn’t find a babysitter for her date. So I sat quietly in the back seat, five years old, understanding more about this movie than I should for my age. An argument can be made that, at such a formative age, the most influential shapers of my sense of humor were Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, and my father.

Around this same time, possibly a bit later, KHJ-TV, channel nine locally, came into my life. Sleep has never come easily to me. I have stayed up all night since birth. My dad likes to tell a story of me as a baby and having to bundle me up, put me in the back seat of his yellow 1974 Volkswagen Beetle, and driving around the block a few times, all at around one or two in the morning, just so I would fall asleep. Being in a car puts me right out to this day. My inner clock functions on a different timetable than most folks. As I grew older, my grandparents gifted me with a small black and white television. During the week, I would go to be, but sleep would never come, so I would stay up watching Johnny Carson doing Carnac, then watch Letterman and Larry “Bud” Melman be incredibly weird. Weekends were a different matter. My mom would usually be at the bar across the street from our house and I would stay over at my grandparents’ house, hanging out with my great-grandmother.

She was an incredible woman. Gram was the person I was closest to in my family and I considered her my dearest friend, as I went to private school until seventh grade and had only one real friend my age. She imbued me with my love of baseball and honesty. She taught me how to be a good dessert cook, giving me recipes for pies with crust made from scratch and iron skillet fudge. Gram was the absolute best. She was so cool that when I would stay over, I could stay up doing whatever I wanted, be it reading or listening to music or, best of all, watching Movie Macabre with Elvira and Star Trek. I fully credit Elvira for my love of horror movies and Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and Star Trek is, well, Star Trek. Every self-respecting nerd has a Star Trek phase.

On Saturdays, I would wake up late and have a big, unhealthy, Southern breakfast. My family is originally from Arkansas and, even though my mother and I were both born in California, it is hard to shake the Southern roots. In fact, when either of us drink (she still drinks, although not nearly as much as she used to. I have been sober for about seven or eight years.), we both develop Southern accents. It’s the damnedest thing. Sausage, eggs, biscuits and gravy… all cooked in grease. All very tasty, but not exactly good for the arteries. I would sit down and watch my favorite program on KHJ, Kung Fu Theatre. I would never miss it, unless there was a Dodger game on. There are many things I love in life, but if it is down to baseball and anything else, baseball wins every time. Thankfully, day games on Saturday are a rarity.

There was so much to love about Hong Kong cinema: the exotic costumes, the cartoony storylines, the frenetic fight scenes, the strange weaponry. My favorite was The Flying Guillotine. An army of evil assassins kill good guys. One of their own breaks away from them to fight their tyranny. Decapitations ensue with the use of the titular weapon. It is essentially a metal hat that one throws at their desired target. When it lands one the intended victim’s head, a chainmail “mask”, for lack of a better term, encircles their head, looking like a Chinese interpretation of a beekeeper’s protective headgear. With a pull of the attached chain, blades shoot through the neck, and hat and head return to the assassin. It sounds silly, but at eight years of age, it is amazing.

With that one movie, my life was irrevocably changed. As stated previously, I went to a small private school and, between bouts of G.I.Joe vs. Cobra on the playground, there were faux kung-fu battles. My “weapon” of choice was always the flying guillotine. It was so much more permanent than the usual sword or spear. Between my unstoppable “weapon” and knowledge of how the battles work out, I was a force to be reckoned with, until, invariably, the taunts of “fatso” would force me to slink away and bury my nose in whatever sci-fi novel I was reading that week.

Jackie Chan changed my opinion of Wu Xia, as it is known in China, forever. Sure, Hong Kong cinema can be goofy fun, but Mr. Chan taught me that goofy fun can have a good story. The heroes in his films have weaknesses and are not suicidal martyrs that are so prevalent in other films in the genre. He is known for his incredibly choreographed fight scenes and dangerous stunts. Not everyone knows that he took a big gamble with his style of filmmaking. At the time, the most popular films in China were bloody epics where the hero had to fight impossible odds against thousands of enemies to reach his true target. The hero would kill him and usually lose his own life in the process.

Jackie’s early films are different. His character is most often a buffoon with tons of talent. Conflict will enter his life. He will have to grow up some to seek some sort of vengeance and learn some sort of moral. All the while, there will be fantastic fighting with usually no weapons. If there are weapons, they are improvised, with tables, chairs, sawhorses, or even the environment of the scene coming into play. Jackie’s hero is not any sort of martial arts star, but Buster Keaton, and it shows. The most famous film that uses this formula, and my personal favorite, is the movie that put him on the map, Drunken Master.

In it, he takes the story of Wong Fei-Hung and turns it sideways. Wong Fei Hung has been portrayed as a serious, mythical hero, almost a superhero, since the early days of Hong Kong films, dating back to the 1920’s. Drunken Master has Jackie Chan playing Wong Fei-Hung as a rebellious teen with a quick sense of humor, quite the departure from previous incarnations. His father, Wong Kei-Ying, is actually closer to how Wong Fei-Hung had been seen in filmgoers’ eyes. Drunken Master was different, full of slapstick, brilliant hand-to-hand fights, and silly dialogue, and Hong Kong audiences ate it up. It made a ton of money and Jackie the star we know today.

If anyone is interested in the rich history of Hong Kong cinema, I suggest hunting down an IFC film entitled Chop Socky. At its one hour length, it is surprisingly in-depth, discussing the heritage of the films with stars Jet Li, the aforementioned Jackie Chan, John Woo, and, my favorite martial arts actor, Sammo Hung. Chop Socky goes all the way back to the early days, spotlighting Beijing Opera, the fantastic film The One Armed Swordsman, the Once Upon A Time In China series, which is Jet Li’s more serious take on Wong Fei-Hung, the classic Come Drink With Me, and even The Flying Guillotine.

Guitar Hero 2 for the Xbox 360

2007-04-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

From as early as I can remember, I have loved music. Driving around with my dad or uncle, we would play a game called “Who’s This?” where a song would come on the radio, they would say “who’s this?” and I would have to answer. More often than not, I would get it right.

Music was a driving force in my family. My dad played clarinet and had a fantastic record collection, ranging from early Miles Davis to classical to Elvis Costello to The B-52s. He has seen The Cramps three times. The man has taste. He turned me on to so many good bands, several of which I still listen to today. His father was a child prodigy on piano, playing jazz and classical concerts from a young age. My maternal grandmother also plays piano, only preferring ragtime, and cello. My mother doesn’t play anything, but she has great taste. She loves English blues, stuff like The Paul Butterfield Blues Band and John Mayall and The Bluesbreakers. Early J Geils Band, way before Centerfold and Freeze Frame, was on constant rotation in the house. In fact, the first instrument I learned to play was harmonica. I was eight or nine. I wanted to be Magic Dick (on the lickin’ stick!), mouth harp player for J Geils, so very badly. Motown and oldies were on all the time, too. The Righteous Brothers and Sam Cooke come on somewhere now and I flash back to driving around with my mom, headed off to nowhere in particular.

For my eleventh birthday, I received a video called Van Halen-Live Without A Net. Eddie Van Halen instantly changed my life. The magic he could perform with his hands blew me away. The solo on that tape… To this day, I watch it and I have no idea how he does half of it. From that moment, I wanted to play guitar. So, one month later, for Christmas, my dad got me a Synsonics guitar that had a tiny four inch speaker built into it. It ran off of a nine-volt battery and came from Toys ‘R Us. It was a piece of junk and I absolutely loved it. He also got me lessons from a local music shop, to which I went to a whopping total of two. That second lesson, when my teacher told me to practice “Born On A Bayou”, I said forget this, went downstairs, bought a tablature book of Led Zeppelin’s Greatest Hits, and never returned. I didn’t want to play Creedence Clearwater Revival; I wanted to ROCK!

Time passes and I become a decent guitar player. I excelled at rhythm but could not play lead other than your basic box scale. In my first band, FERN, I was thirteen and didn’t care. The three of us would go to the TV studio our drummer’s dad owned and turn up as loud as possible. We wanted to be James Gang, but, other than John, who was a fantastic drummer, we had a little stumbling block called ability. We sounded more like a trashy punk band. All three of us were influenced by great three-piece bands: Rush, James Gang, Mountain, et al. After a couple of years, we got to be pretty good. I was the defacto singer, but none of us owned a mic or PA, so all the songs ended up being very heavy, jammy instrumentals, like early Kyuss without the powerhouse vocals of John Garcia. There were “lyrics”, stuff one of us had written and I knew what they were. I just never sang them.

I never got the hang of solos, but I am starting to. Recently, a new addiction has entered our household: Guitar Hero, specifically Guitar Hero 2 for the Xbox 360. My wife and I have owned both the first and second games for PS2, but I just couldn’t seem to get the hang of them. I enjoyed them immensely, but getting past medium difficulty was no fun. Co-op play on GH2 was a blast, though. With choices of guitar/bass or lead/rhythm, depending on the song, two people can rock out to their hearts content. Single player hard difficulty eluded me, though, and, as a result, boredom set in.

The Xbox 360 version is another matter entirely. Ten new songs, including Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper”, brings the total up to seventy, with downloadable song packs available. Oh, and those song packs are not free. They come in three-song packs at a cost of $6.25. And they are songs from the first Guitar Hero. People went online and complained bitterly. They said it was a rip-off, being that they were already on PS2, and that they wanted the ability to pick and choose what songs they could purchase, as not everyone wanted to be forced to buy an Incubus song. Me? I went online and happily bought them. For one, the visuals are much cleaner than on the old system. Also, I could understand the slightly higher price point. Red Octane had to go back and add more code, since each song would have an entirely new play mode, co-op, which wasn’t on the first one. That means they had to program either a bass line or rhythm line. That means more work on their part. Finally, according to Microsoft, they had to rebuy the licensing rights, which add to the overhead. What the complainers online fail to realize is that Red Octane didn’t have to do any of this.

Another thing I feel in the minority over is the new guitar controller for the Xbox 360. I like the X-plorer shape and how solid the overall feel of it is. The buttons have a stiffer feel to them and slightly spaced out farther. One complaint I always had about the PS2 version was that the controllers felt too toy-like, almost like I was going to snap them in half on Hangar 18.

The strangest thing about playing this game constantly is that my fretting hand has become considerably stronger. When I play my real guitar (black Epiphone flying V), my fingers are noticeably faster, causing me to try leads for the first time in my life. Actually, I have demoed GH2 to three guitar player friends and all three went out and bought it. It’s an excellent warm-up and strengthening tool.

GH2 is also one of the greatest party videogames ever made. It is tactile in a way that regular controllers can never be. I would be more comfortable showing my mom this game. An Xbox 360 controller would confuse her. A guitar she would get. It also makes you silly. We have a standing rule to do overhead handclaps during the second verse of Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” when there is no guitar line. Finally, it is something anyone could play. With GH2’s diverse line-up of songs and five different difficulty levels, anyone from my ten year old cousin to the lead guitar player of my buddy’s band, The Killjunkies, can find something for their taste and ability.

If only I had this when I was eleven.

Hello Again.

2007-04-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

Didn't I post a blog at one time?

No excuses or promises this time. Let's just enjoy this while it lasts.

I don't think I have been more excited about a game ever in my life. Beautiful Katamari for the Xbox 360. The first two games, Katamari Damacy and We Love Katamari, both for PS2, are amazing. Quirky gameplay with beautiful, stylized visuals and fantastic music. The music is probably the best part. Oh, that and The King Of The Cosmos. That's him below with his wife.

There really is no game that compares to any of the releases. Maybe Tetris. You play the Prince Of The Cosmos. Each level, you have to take a ball, called a Katamari, and roll it around a level. While you roll, things will stick to it. Your goal is either to get it to a certain size before time runs out or as a speed run, where you try to get it to a certain size in as fast a time as possible. Maybe this picture will help y'all:

So, as you roll and your Katamari gets bigger, two things happen:
One- Your perceptive in the game changes. The prince stays the same size, but you are able to see more of the room. which leads us directly into...
Two- You can roll up bigger things. For example, on an early level of We Love Katamari, the Katamari is 1cm and you start out by rolling up thumbtacks and matches. The goal is to get up to 1m and get outside, where you can roll up stuff like cats and trumpets and milk cartons. That may be the coolest feature about the game (well, after the music and the King). You can literally roll up everything you see in the game at one point or another. Tennis rackets. Rubber ducks. Wrestling championship belts. People. Cars. Elephants. Buildings. Continents. All are fair game. When you are done, you present your Katamari to Your dad, the King, and he judges it. He then throws it into the galaxy and makes a star or planet out of it.

It's an incredibly easy game to pick up and play. It uses solely the two thumbsticks for movement, similar in style to the old arcade stand-up Battletank. Push both sticks forward to move forward. It's that easy. No button pressing at all. Each level has different music and that is where the game really shines. Every song is catchy and mostly in Japanese. My favorites are Katamari On A Swing, which is a straight forward swing song, and the one I can never remember the name of, a hip-hop song with the line of "number, number, num-num-number one!".

The reason for all this Katamari love is this screenshot from Beautiful Katamari:

Oh my goodness. That is one big Katamari. It is definitely confirmed for American release, but with the vague release date of "later this year". On the bright side, they announced that this one will have over 5000 objects to roll up this time. The second one only had 1300. There will also be Xbox Live support in the form on four-player online battles. Look for it "later this year" on Xbox 360 and the evil PS3, with it showing up on Wii "sometime next year".

(all pics from this post at the mighty Destructoid!)

Flesh-head And Tellura Go To Geek Heaven '05: Day Two

2005-07-15T20:55:00.000-07:00

As stated in yesterday's post, today was Selfish Day at the San Diego Comic-con, but, officially, it was Star Wars Day. So many Stormtroopers and Jedi... Within five minutes of being on the floor, we saw three different sets of Stormtroopers. Three! One of them was walking right in front of us and smelled like he didn't follow my advice. I can understand. Those suits are hot.

Each day, it gets busier, making it harder to get around. The Current Wife and I said "excuse me" and "I'm sorry" every other step. Whoo boy. Saturday is going to be slow going. Everyone was still very friendly, though. It must be something they pump into the a/c. We would be looking at Lego sets, for example, and other fans would suggest a cheaper, better set, albeit from inside a TIE fighter pilot helmet.

One of the best things about Comic-Con, especially as it gets closer to the annual Masquerade contest, are all the fans in costume. I never make fun of these people. They have more balls than me. And the amount of planning that goes into them! We saw one guy dressed spot-on as General Grievous. The picture I got was real quick and from the side but, dollars to donuts, he'll be there tomorrow and so will my camera.

Nothing beats the Caveman Robot costume for the comic of the same name. I love robots and a caveman robot... Don't get much better than that. When my wife stepped up to get a pic, he grunted "wo-man" and we were sold. I bought a couple of tester comics and a nifty-cool Caveman Robot paper doll! I haven't read them yet but the art is similar to Kirby monster books. I'll have a complete review in my wrap-up column. In fact, I'll have reviews of everything we bought, including the gift stuff. I can't wait to see the look on The Wolfman's face when he sees his...

Besides being Star Wars day, it felt like Celebrity Day at the convention. We walked onto the floor and landed at the pro wrestler Kane's signing. He was running late and wasn't at the Lion's Gate booth. Glenn Danzig was at his fine art company's booth. Yesterday, the wife and I renewed our Comic Book Legal Defense Fund membership (seven years and running!). Today, I popped in to see what I could buy to give more support and Jim Lee was signing away on copies of the new Batman & Robin comic, Hush trade paperbacks, and Superman: For Tomorrow hardcovers, one of which I bought. He wasn't signing anything else and was in a hurry but I got a good picture and said hello. Towards the end of the day, we saw David Borneaz flanked by security cruising the floor. I even got to small-talk Holly Golightly from Tarot comics about Starbucks!

The Current Wife and I finally made it to a panel. Adult Swim, baby! This is the only panel I have never missed, stretching all the way back to when it was just 500 of us sitting in the Space Ghost: Coast To Coast panel. I remember when they showed small clips of the new Adult Swim block and had us vote on them. Harvey Birdman won hands down. Aqua Teen Hunger Force confused the entire room. This year, it was standing room only in the big hall. We had Keith Croffard moderating the creators of Aqua Teen, Tom Goes To The Mayor, and the mighty Robot Chicken. Seth Green is one bad ass mofo. Quick with a joke and comfortable in front of a crowd. The biggest announcements:
-Robot Chicken dvd next year
-Venture Brothers dvd next year! (no Doc Hammer or Jackson publick there.)
-NEW Venture Brothers series next June!!!
-New shows this fall
-And best of all, AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE FEATURE FILM!

I am not a big Tom Goes fan, so no news from me.

OK That's it for today. The next post will be Sunday night as our paid wireless ends in an hour. We ain't made of money people. So Sunday will be the day three post with the big-ass wrap-up on Monday. See ya then!

Flesh-head And Tellura Go To Geek Heaven '05: Day One

2005-07-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

Good morning, everyone!

Man, The Current Wife and I are just going non-stop on our vacation. Here it is, Friday morning, 10am, and we're still in bed. Our alarm was set for 8am but we decided to catch up on a bit of sleep.

Yesterday was a blast. We got up early and went to breakfast at the Village Cafe, which is where we had lunch on Wednesday. Still good stuff, even with a completely different crew on in the morning. This place gets added to the list of must-eat cheap food for the con.

Then, it was off to the con floor. There were only a couple of panels we wanted to see, so this was the day for us to shop for others. Yep. We don't just buy for us. In fact, as of this writing, we have barely bought anything for ourselves. That changes today, incidentally, as we are spending the rest of the time in San Diego being selfish. So screw all y'all.

I did spend some money on my wife as yesterday was her birthday! Woo hoo! The last couple of years, Comic-Con has fallen around her birthday, but this year, Day One is on the day she was dropped down the chimney by the stork. That means gifts from the con and big-ass expensive dinner from somewhere in the Gaslamp District. I got her a really cool Misfits show poster for us to frame and a killer guy's Nightmare Before Christmas watch. She likes chunky watches.

We got so sucked into all the sights, sounds, and (unfortunately) smells (I guess some people didn't take my advice about deoderant) of the con floor that we missed every panel we wanted to see. That is one of the things I have discovered in the last few years: Comic-Con equals missing panels. Ah well.

The only things I have bought for myself? Palisade Toys has several con exclusive things this year. They are going to be producing an X-Files mini toy line and they have an exclusive "Conumdrum" (eek. Did I spell that right?) from the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow episode. So I now have an Enigma action figure! Hooray! I also got a backpack from the Mythwear booth. Stupid me didn't follow my own advice and left home without one. That's okay, though, as I love their bags. This is the second one I have bought from them over the years. Bags and purses with official anime images on them. I went for the one with a monkey talking about flinging poo on it. Seemed fitting.

My big purchase this year was to be Yoda's lightsaber from the Master Replicas booth, but, after examing it, I changed my mind. Now, I am stuck for a big buy. Today is the day to find it. Wish me luck.

Here are the bulletpoints for Day One:
-The Nintendo booth has a playable demo of the new Legend Of Zelda game. It is stunningly beautiful.
-There are several videogame companies this year, yet no Marvel Comics booth. This is the third or fourth year they have not been there.
-The Star Wars Lego booth is amazing. The Lego Star Destroyer is about ten feet long!
-Lots of Italian restaurants in Gaslamp. At least two on every block it seems. We chose one called Mare & Monti Trattoria for The Current Wife's birthday dinner. Pricey but excellent with the best service I have ever had in a restaurant. Highly recommended if you can afford it.
-Everyone working at the con is so friendly this year! Our biggest complaint from last year was the amazing amount of rude security guards. I chatted with a staff member of the con proper and she told me that I wasn't alone in feeling that. The con board went off on the security company after last year's event. This year, if security is rude, you get their name and report them.

Ok That's it for Day One. Here is a link for pictures of the first day and a half. We will have many more for day two. See you tomorrow.

Flesh-head And Tellura Go To Geek Heaven '05: Preview Night

2005-07-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Program!

There was no part two to my preview post. The Current Wife and I went through the programming guide and realized that we only wanted to go to a couple of panels this years. Looks like we will be mostly on the floor this year. Shopping, ahoy!

We made it down to San Diego early this year. Normally, the drive is about four hours but we split it into two days and stayed overnight at Disneyland on Tuesday. So, we got down here and had a few hours to kill before we could check in. The hot dog stand we previously mentioned was first. Still good and still cheap. We bought season three of Sealab 2021, went back to the hotel, and, as luck would have it, our room was ready. Early! Huzzah!

After freshening up, it was off to COMIC-CON! Pre-registering means getting in Wednesday night for three hours. Actually, this year was the quickest it has ever taken to get our badges. We walked right in and went to a table. In. Out. Thirty seconds. The floor still wasn't open for us "regular" people, only pros and exhibitors. The line to get in was huge and about a two hour wait. Screw that. Off to wander the harbor!

I needed coffee. I manage a coffee shop and methinks, by this point, equal parts blood and espresso run through my veins. My tracks were itching and I didn't want no goddamn $tarbucks. I like independent coffee houses. While stubling through the harbor, The Current Wife and I found a deli/coffee shop named The Village Cafe. It's so tiny and easy to miss. The food was excellent. I was able to get me a triple latte and a pastrami on marble rye withe the wife enjoying a caesar salad. Plus, Radiohead was bumping loud! In fact, after posting this, we're going back for breakfast. I desire a western omlette sandwich and a Milky Way Latte!

OK Here are the bulletpoints for Wednesday:
-It seemed bigger and more organized this year, with sections for specific things, like all the Star Wars booths are lumped together
-Speaking of Star Wars, no Yoda lightsaber! My big purchase is now gone! ARGH!
-There is a semi truck with trailer all covered in the center of the floor. All it has on it is ads for Transformers: The Movie. Wonder if they will uncover it for the con proper...
-In fact, on preview night, there were lots of things covered.

OK I am hungry like a hungry thing that is hungry. I will post pics either tonight or tomorrow.

See ya Thursday! Excelsior!

Flesh-head And Tellura Go To Geek Heaven '05: Preview

2005-07-08T02:58:00.000-07:00

Well, it is finally time. Every year, geeks of all shapes, sizes, species converge onto the mammoth San Diego Convention Center to immerse themselves in bad food, little sleep, and lightsaber battles for four days. Yep. Next week is the San Diego Comic-Con! What started as a little gathering of enthusiasts almost forty years ago has grown into a massive event that I daresay would only rival something like a Super Bowl or, more realistically, the World Series (especially with how the Padres are playing this year). It's that big and a hell of a moneymaker for San Diego. The locals might not always get the fuss over funnybooks but they understand the economic influx.

Let's backtrack a bit: Hello and welcome back to The Treehouse. Sorry about the lack of updates. I actually tried posting a couple of times but between the ex-parrot status of my old pc and my unfamiliarity of Blogger, I gave up. Methinks I might have even slapped my monitor and pc tower Three Stooges-style, but my memory is a bit foggy. So, The Current Wife and I have Unicrom (which, incidentally, is the greatest Transformer ever voiced by Orson Welles) on the desk flippin' the bird to the pc. Seemed fitting. Now, we have finally caught up to 1999 and bought a laptop. We love it. I mean, it rules sitting here typing this in my living room while David Bowie sings Be My Wife on my tele. And who knows? This might lead to more posts. I ain't promising anything, though. That is just too much pressure.

Back to business: When I had all the problems posting, I decided I would give it one more go the week before the fabled Comic-con. Put everything I have learned into one lump and see what happens. This being my ninth year, I have learned a bunch, from where to park to what not to eat at the con itself. The number one thing I have learned: DON'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY. I mean, there are freakin' Klingons walking around. In character. Speaking Klingon. Speaking Klingon CORRECTLY. After that, anything can happen.

OK one of the main things I learned long ago was planning. That was ultimately what this is going to be about: helping you plan certain things out in advance. The con is large and there is literally something con-related going on at all hours, whether it is all-night gaming or anime and movies until dawn or even club-hopping in the nearby Gaslamp District. Knowing where to go when helps.

It is very helpful to examine or even download the program guide from Comic-con's website. It is also helpful to remember that this is not set in stone, though. There are always panels and signings being moved around or outright cancelled. There are numerous boards located around the lobby and upstairs at the panel rooms that show the up-to-date schedule for the day and any changes that may have occurred.

Since we are the preparation aspect of the trip, The Current Wife and I have a couple of tips on what to take with you. Remember, one of, if not THE, central points of going to Comic-con is to buy stuff. Stuff that is either not readily available in your home town or hasn't been made in twenty years or didn't even exist until the con. So, it is safe to pack light. When I stared going to the con, I would take a bunch of stuff to get signed, like my Bone hardcovers. Now, I don't take a damn thing. If I want to get an autograph, it is just easier to get something there. You could always find something cheap. Most of the time, the signers have stuff for sale anyway. But, if you do want to get specific stuff you own signed, don't take your whole collection. Most signers have a limit anyway, so you aren't getting Rob Liefeld's name on all twenty-five copies of Team Youngblood #1. (For that matter, if you are a serious collector, DON'T GET THEM SIGNED AT ALL. It lowers the grade of the book by having pen on the cover.)

One of my favorite things to do is bring a small sketchbook and get sketches by artists I like. I have several Bone (and others) sketches by Jeff Smith, a Tick sketch by my second-favorite Tick artist, Eli Stone (Tick is in silver paint marker saying Cuchara!), and one of the angriest Milk and Cheese drawings I have ever seen, due to Evan Dorkin having to pee.

Ahh Evan. How I miss you at the con. See, he doesn't do San Diego anymore because he hates to fly and the actual event is hell on his nerves. I got the great fortune of having a couple of cool conversations with him, just because I didn't freak him out. My best friend, The Wolfman, made his day once by giving him an antacid. He used to be one of my highlights.

That's one of the wierder aspects of the convention. After going a few years in a row, people start to remember you from previous years. I am on a "nodding hello" type of thing with Glenn Danzig. One time, in the lobby of a hotel, he stopped talking to his friends just to say hi. That was when I knew I was a regular. Last year, The Current Wife and I kept running into pro wrestler Rob Van Dam and his wife. Nice guy. But it's not just invited guests. Also last year, while I was giving blood at the annual blood drive, some lady next to me remembered me from three years before! It was her forteenth San Diego Comic-con.

Back to what to take. A camera is a must. You never know what craziness you are going to see. Besides, once you see the size of the event, you will want to document it. And for the love of all that is holy: BRING DEODORANT AND USE IT! I cannot stress this enough. The conditions inside are pleasant enough, but, come Saturday, the big day, temperatures inside do go up due to the amount of people around. That's about it. I mean, necessary medicines and such, but, really, if you do forget anything, there is always Important Place #1...

RALPH'S GROCERY STORE! I swear, this place has saved me more times than I can count. Located two blocks from the convention, it is a godsend. If you are doing things on the cheap, they have a fairly cheap, well-stocked deli. Plus, anything you need or forgot. It's freakin' huge. It is also a good stop for drinks and snacks. The food at the con is solely for emergencies. None but the brave travel that road. And it's pricey.

So now we are on to food. Inevitably, I end up taking the wife to a good, fancy dinner in Gaslamp at least once. Comic-con usually happens around her birthday. There are plenty of choices, from Spanish to Thai to sushi to burgers. Our favorite is this little Irish pub across the street from the convention center, named Dargan's. Good food that isn't really that expensive. Plus, Bass Ale on tap!

For more affordable fare, there is pizza-by-the-slice places all over the place, your typical fast food... or the secret place. One the landmarks you should remember is Horton Plaza. It's an outdoor mall that is centrally-located in Gaslamp. We use it to mark how far away places are. On the very bottom level is a killer hot dog stand. Great food, dirt-cheap. We highly recommend it.

The convention has shuttles that run the whole time, well into the night. USE THEM. They run to most of major hotels and even the smaller hotels are not more that a short walk from the shuttle stop. Depending on where you are staying, do try and walk around town some. It is a beautiful town. Brickwork everywhere. Asian culture on every block. San Diego is a historic port city and they take pride in their heritage. A couple of warnings, though. First, there is usually construction going on all the time downtown. At least, the last few years there has been. Now that Petco Park is done, I have no idea what could be going on. Secondly, it is a larger city so there is some homeless around, especially late at night. Stay on major roads and there will be no problems. The local police force is fully prepared for this convention and, believe me, there is a ton of cops around. If you worry about things like that, just use the shuttles. They rule. The busiest times for them are right before the doors open and right after the doors close for the main floor for the day. Plan accordingly.

Now for the important part: money. Like I wrote earlier, this is going to be my ninth time going. One year, I slept on the floor of my friends' hotel room. I had about $100 for everything, food, cigarettes, stuff at the con... and I still had fun. Sure. I like to spend a ton of money at this thing, but I don't need to. There is plenty of free stuff to do. Once you get your membership pass, anything pertaining to the con is FREE. All events, all panels, all signings... FREE. There is even a room in the hotel next door specifically for con attendees that has soda, chips, and candy... for FREE. Plus, almost all the booths have free stuff. I usually come home with a two foot high pile of free stuff. So, really, the money is the easiest part to plan. Just take what you feel comfortable spending.

OK That's it for this go-round. There is a part two to this here post scheduled for Monday, in which The Current Wife and I breakdown the panels and events that sound interesting to us. Yes, my wife will actually be in the column for the first time. Now you'll get to see the real brains behind this operation. I'm just the muscle.

Then, daily updates from the San Diego Comic-con! With pictures! Won't that be grand?

See ya next time!

Surviving Geek Heaven Chapter One: Overview

2005-02-22T23:51:00.000-08:00

Every year, my wife and I ask for our vacation early, in order to ensure the time off from work. Invariably, we are asked by our respective employers where we are going. They always look slightly confused when we answer "the San Diego Comic-Con". "Oh, that's nice. What is it about?" This usually stops me for a moment. When I first started going, my mom and grandparents asked me this same question. It sounds so simple when you tell anybody who is not a comic collector that it is a comic convention. Not just any comic convention, though. It is THE comic convention. The one with all the bells and whistles, as it were. In reality, it really is more of a cultural convention. Comics do dominate, but there is so much more.

It satrted thirty-six years ago in the U.S. Grant Hotel with Guests Of Honor Jack Kirby, Ray Bradbury, and A. E. Van Vogt. The following year, the con moved to the El Cortez Hotel, where it spent several of the following years. On my second trip to San Diego for the convention, we stayed at a Best Western down the block from the now-condemned El Cortez. It was an imposing structure, highlighted by an aging neon sign proclaiming its name for all to see. It was definitely a smaller location but had its charm. I just wish I could have snuck in to see for myself how much the convention had grown.

In 1979, the con reputation had grown enough to now start being held at the San Diego Convention and Performing Arts Center. With the increase of attendance came the realization that this was an important audience for key announcements. In '76, the first glimpses of Star Wars were shown, with the preview for Empire Strikes Back shown in 1979. To this day, movie studios still use Comic-Con as a barometer for last minute tweaking of projects that appeal to geeks. Numerous Hollywood celebrities use the convention center panel rooms to hold court with their fans, showing just how knowledgeable (or clueless) they are with their target audience. All for the price of admission to the convention itself. Not too shabby.

1991 saw it move to the current home, The San Diego Convention Center. This is the place that I associate with the con. I know it like the back of my hand. After nine years and countless times of getting lost looking for a panel room or the snack area, I feel like I have worked there my entire life. Located on the harbor, it showcases a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean right outside the back doors to the place. July or August in San Diego means blue skies and fresh air. In fact, this leads to Tip #1 in your education. Pay attention.

Tip #1: Use the back area by the harbor for a meeting place.

This is an easy tip and one you probably would have figured out yourself. Not only is it convenient, as it is right off of the panel rooms, but has a killer view so you won't mind the wait. And, trust me, if you are in a group, you WILL be splitting off at one point. There is so much to see and do that invariably there will be some sort of scheduling conflict.

Just inside from the outside harbor area is the main set of panel rooms. They range in size from tiny, for those intimite, very specific area panels, to freakin' huge, for stuff like the Tobey Maguire/ Sam Raimi Spider-man 2 panel. Some panels are annual, like QuickDraw, with Sergio Aragones, Scott Shaw!, and a guest, playing a variation of improv comedy for artists. Some are big-time announcement panels, like major movie panels with directors, stars, and such. There is anime running seemingly non-stop running in some of the rooms. Comic announcements... How to publish or create comics... Cult movies... All of it happens up here.

Down the giant escalators and we are at the main hall. This is the meat and potatoes of the San Diego Comic-Con. Their website http://www.comic-con.org/ says that, in 2003, the hall was 460,000 square feet. Last year, they opened a new addition to it. My very rough estimate is that it is over 500,000 square feet. I took a picture last year standing in row 100 and shot down the length of the hall. You can't see the other end. There are vendors and comic companies and film companies and giant displays and... we'll be more in-depth about the main floor in a future column. Suffice to say, pretty much anything you are looking for that is geeky can be found here. Except for that damn dvd rip of Within The Woods...

So there is your basic overview of the San Diego Comic-Con. In future columns, we will focus our eyes on the specifics of each area. Let's just see how much minutiae we can dig up.

Surviving Geek Heaven: Introduction

2005-02-17T00:49:00.000-08:00

Since our last episode...

My wife and I got married (to each other, for clarification)
We went on our honeymoon to San Jose, Monterey Bay, and San Francisco, CA, and proceeded to spend entirely too much money and have an indecent amount of fun
We saved a kitty from death row. Tiberius, our part Siamese, all white six month old is sniffing around the computer as we speak.
We enjoyed our wedded bliss without outside distractions, which included writing on here.

Are we caught up? Oh yeah. Our nephew was born about nine hours after our wedding. His birthday will be easy to remember, being that it is the day after our anniversary and Halloween to boot.

This being the beginning of the year, my wife and I get to start planning our annual vacation, which has led to this here new column. Every year, we go to the San Diego Comic-con. This has become an annual tradition for us, with this being my wife's fourth year and my ninth. Nine straight! Growing up, my family used to take our annual trip to San Diego and I grew to love it there. Every Labor Day weekend, we would do Sea World, the famous zoo, and the Wild Animal Park. But, being the only comic reader in my family, they had no clue about this convention, I would read about the con and dream of somehow going to it. I vowed I would go and, eventually, I did. I have never regretted it. I would somehow scrape up enough money just to have a room with four or five other people and food with maybe fifty dollars to spend.

I ended up getting a job at Ralph's Comic Corner http://www.ralphscomiccorner.com and the con suddenly became part of what I do for a living. Ralph and I would go (separately) and just come back loaded with freebies and exclusives and the latest news. Then, lightning struck me and I hit the jackpot. My geek of a future wife dared me to ask her out. Now, I had a partner in crime for my San Diego exploits. Last year, my wife and I came up with an idea for a San Diego Comic-con survival guide, full of stuff like past adventures and where to stay and where to eat and how to either do it cheap or just throw caution into the wind and do it right. The con can be just as fun if you have little money. The main thing I realized a few years ago is that buying stuff isn't all it is about. The real joy is in taking in the whole experience. It's about being pissed that two of your favorite panels are conflicting. It's about Klingons hitting on your wife. It's about sharing an elevator with a famous professional wrestler who just happens to be staying in the same hotel. It's about being on a nodding acquaitance with vendors you have seen every year. It's about finding small press books and discovering new reads. And, yes, it is about spending money. I mean, I bought a freakin' lightsaber last year. It hangs proudly over our tv and gets more comments than anything else in our house.

So, that is the basis of the new direction of The Treehouse. I literally start planning for the next con the day I leave the current one. Hopefully, I can help you guys not have to do that. We'll be covering a lot of ground, from how to eat cheap to cool little off the beaten path things to see and do, all of which will be interspersed with stories of cons past. This will lead us up to this year's event, which, even this far away, is starting to show some fine guests: Forrest Ackerman, Murphy Anderson, Bob Bolling, Greg Evans, Pia Guerra, David Lapham, the mighty Scott McCloud, Gary Panter, George Perez, Eric Powell, J. J. Sedelmeier, who runs the studio which helped bring us Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law and The Ambiguously Gay Duo, Dexter Taylor, Michael Turner, and Brian K. Vaughn.

Egads. This should take a while. Let's enjoy it.

Oh yeah. I have always wondered: Is David Lapham's last name pronounced "laf-am" or "lap-ham"? Mmmm... Lap ham....

What I Read On My Summer Vacation

2004-09-30T03:32:00.000-07:00

Hey, kids! What time is it?

That's right! It is time for another column. I was on an unannounced hiatus for a couple of weeks, but I am back. WIth a vengence.With work and the impending wedded bliss, I decided to focus on real life, as opposed to virtual life. I missed my Wife Of The Future.

Today being Wednesday, the geeks brave sunlight and buy new comics. Me being a geek (and not just any old geek, mind you, but Archduke Of Geeks, as I have managed a game shoppe and own a lifesize replica lightsaber), I, too, risked potential exposure to *shudder* the dreaded rays of cursed Sol. That means...

NEW COLUMN!

We are throwing the budget format out the window this week to get to everything I read on my break. I have a little bit of extra change and decided to even get a very nice hardcover collection for the looming bookshelves in my living room. More on that later. First, here is my pull list for the last few weeks:

Alpha Flight #7 (current series)- Sometimes, all you need is silly. That's why this book works for me. We see more character development here, with the characters catching their collective breath after the first storyarc. I don't have high hopes for the longevity of this book, so I am enjoying it while it is here.
Army Of Darkness: Ashes 2 Ashes #2- Every year for my birthday, at one point, I watch Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn. At Blockbuster, when I was interviewing for a job, I answered "Bruce Campbell" when asked who is my favorite actor. I have seen almost every movie he's been in. Love Bug remake? Seen and enjoyed. Some Disney movie about goldmining starring Alyssa Milano? Seen. Not necessarily enjoyed. He is set on my TiVo wishlist, just in case the gods smile down on me and bring him to my television. So, it pretty much went without saying that I was going to buy this book, but, honestly, I didn't have high hopes for this title. It has been surprising me, though. It picks up right where Army Of Darkness left off and heads off running. Laced with in-jokes from the movies and Ash's trademark wit and strange combination of heroics and cowardice, this book has yet to disappoint me. The cartoony art style fits the world of the Necromonicon and, in this issue, we actually get a glimpse of what it would be like if the evil won. Good stuff. While I am on this, I would just like to appeal to any god or devil or movie exec: Please make Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash. I will give you my second born. My first already goes to the gypsies.
Astonishing X-men #5- Ok I now officially like this book. Granted, it is not as good as Morrison's take on the team, but if we constantly compare books to how they were in the past, we will never move forward. This is good stuff. This shouldn't be a spoiler anymore, but here's your warning anyway. SPOILER, POOPYHEAD! Having Colossus back is nice. I am happy about it. He has always been one of my favorites and it seems that they might actually do something with for the first time in years. Kitty Pryde has always been my favorite x-character and Peter Rasputin comes with that package. Cassaday's art is fine work, as usual. I'll keep reading 'em if they stay like this.
Books Of Magic: Life During Wartime #3- So, I like this book. The art is good and the story interesting, but I still don't really understand what is going on. Maybe it's my blond showing through... Might be time to get some back history in the form of trade paperbacks.
Conan #8 (current series)- Kid Conan: Vanquisher of Bullies! I love this book. There is one panel where Kid Conan holds a sword for the first time that brought a smile to my face. It's great to see Conan done right. I said it before and I'll say it again: go read every issue of this book. There is a reason #0 won Best Single Issue at the Eisners this year.
Bite Club #6- Nice finish. Every plotline wrapped up quite nicely and it all tied together. This will be one I buy a trade of just so I can reread it over and over and over...
Daredevil #64 and #65- Forty freakin' years? Wow. That means I have been reading it for almost twenty. Sheesh. #64 saw the end of the Black Widow storyline and more on the failed marriage of Matt and Milla. # 65 gives us more backstory of how the other heroes dealt with Matt being unmasked (or is he? Could the ghost of Mike Murdock rear his flamboyant head?). It also teases what looks to be the next storyline. Good stuff, as usual. Even if it wasn't, I'd probably still buy it because I am a big ol' sucker.
Fables #29- This is the first series in a long time to grab me and not let go. This features the conclusion of the "Bigby in WWII" storyline. Next issue: the return of artist Mark Buckingham and an all-new yearlong storyarc! Who's the mayor now? What's happening with Snow and her unborn baby (or babies? Is it a litter?)? Will my dreams be realized and this title become weekly with the same high quality work? Treat yourself and get the first trade. You won't be disappointed.
The Flash #214 (current series)- "The Secret From The Grave Of The Flash?" More like "The Secret To Getting People To Buy Next Month's Issue". I kid! This was a good issue, showing us just how long Wally has been around. Could we see a resolution to one of the dangling plotlines from last year soon? God, I hope so. Another book I would buy even if chimps were drawing it. Actually, that would probably make me buy it more. Guest pencils: Grape Ape.
Futurama Comics #19- This one was not bad, but felt a bit rushed. Still, any Futurama is better than none.
Hellblazer #200!- Whoo! 200 already? Yay! I must confess that I was confused with the story in this one at first, but it all started to click. My lovely fiancee was only a third of the way through before she asked me what the hell was going on in the book. If I wouldn't tell her, what makes you think I am going to tell you? Not exactly a good jumping-on point for the series, but for us long-time fans, good read. Methinks John's life is going to be difficult for the next few months. My hope is that the attention from the movie won't water this title down, but the big "CONSTANTINE" above the title has me shaken slightly. Hey, anything to attract more attention to funnybooks is ok by me, as long as the quality is there.
Identity Crisis #4- Shockingly death-free! No recap on this one. I have too much respect for the mystery genre to spoil it. Go get them all and see what all the hoopla is about. If you have any questions on anyone in the book, ask me. If I don't know it, ask the King Of Geeks. Either of us would be more than happy to explain.
Secret Files & Origins: JLA 2004- I am a sucker for Who's Who or Secret Files or Handbook of The Marvel Universe. Any compilation or synopsis-style book instantly goes onto the pull list. This one wasn't that great, but that's probably because I haven't read JLA in over two years. Ehh.
JSA#65- My favorite title. More of the same, which is a good thing. Superhero team book as it should be done. You can't really go wrong when Solomon Grundy and one of the JSA's oldest villains are involved. Where are my JSA collections? I want them all in an archive-style collection! Gimme!
JSA: Strange Adventures #2- And this is how superheroes should be written if they are in their prime and fighting nazi cyborgs!
Madrox #1- Peter David's replacement book, after the untimely demise of Captain Marvel. This one is more straightforward than Cap. So far, so good. I bet he can have lots of fun playing with the idea of a detective who can make infinite clones of himself. But didn't Jamie Madrox die? Where's my "Previously..." recap box?
Manhunter #2 (current series)- This book took me completely by surprise. Good, good stuff. I like seeing real places in L.A. as scenery. No superhero action in this one, but plenty of good story development. Keep it up.
Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe: Daredevil 2004- See? Sucker for these things. Nothing but text synopses of the major players in DD's life. Cool, if your into that sort of thing.
Rogue #3- This one was for the love of my life. Honestly, I barely paid attention to this one. CSI was on. Waddaya want from me?
Simpsons Comics #98- We finally get some history on the big Olmec head that is in the Simpsons' basement. Funny stuff.
Strange #1- Ah yes. Dr. Strange. Another one of my early favorites. Strange Tales was an obsession for me as a kid. We have this funky thrift store in town that has a huge back issue section. I probably bought every one of my Dr. Strange comics from there. My favorite story is the one-shot painted by P. Craig Russell. This issue is an update on his origin. We don't even see a hint of the costume or the Eye of Ammagotto. This is one I will give a shot. Who knows? Maybe it will be done right...
Swamp Thing #7 (current series)- WOOHOO! Richard Corben! He has such an individual style. Spooky and cartoony. His faces are what I always notice first. He's still so cool and different. This issue features more of the "original recipe" Swamp Thing. Liked it a bunch, especially the double page "trophy room" spread.
The Witching #4- I really want to like this book, but the pace is so damn slow! I couldn't keep my attention on it. Another victim of CSI.
X-men #161 and #162- This title is becoming my guilty pleasure book. For some reason, I enjoy this book. I know I ragged on is a few issues ago, but it is coming around. The story is decent and the art is alright, but together, it works somehow. I do have somewhat of a problem with the art. Occasionally, Salvador Larocca seems to have trouble getting the story across. I like his art but sometimes I can't follow it. The story is actually drawing me in. Sheesh. I shouldn't have to defend books I like, but this one feels like a special case, since some many people I know have ragged on it.

That's it for the single issues. I don't remember how much I spent. That hardcover I bought? Well, it is the JLA/Avengers. One of my favorite things to get is hardcover collections. If it is an oversized hardover collection? Sold! George Perez's art has never looked better. It could have failed, much like the aborted original crossover from the eighties, but it fired on all cylinders. Kurt Busiek's script was fun and worked on all levels, from casual fan to full-on supernerds wearing "I Grok Spock" t-shirts. It took me days to pour over the book, looking for little things in the art. The slipcase hardcover comes with a companion book, detailing the history of the two companies crossovers, why the first attempt failed with pencilled pages of the original, annotations... I was in heaven. In fact, I am still going through it. It is beautiful. I can actually remember when I became a huge fan of Perez. It was 1986, when I bought the History Of The DCU two-parter, published in what used to be known as "prestige format". I poured over those, marvelling at characters I had never heard of, like Uncle Sam and Phantom Lady and Human Bomb. It actually got me interested in the history of comics. Avengers/JLA is a fantastic collection, albeit a bit steep in the price department at $75. To me, it is worth every penny.

No links this week. Too many damn books. And, if you're interested, I am a somewhere in the middle between casual fan and supernerd. I, too, grok Spock. I just don't advertise it.

It feels good to be back. See you next week, kids!

Crypt Of How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20

2004-08-26T00:16:00.000-07:00

Howdy-ho, neighborinos!

Let's cut to the chase this week. I went a couple of dollars over budget this week, but only due to taxation. Two books were put back that I was sorely looking forward to (Weird Secret Origins: any book with Congorilla and Animal Man is ok in my world, but not at $6; and We3: this one bummed me out. I just couldn't squeeze it into the budget. Morrison and Quitely? There's a must buy for you, but too many of my regular pulls came out this week. Maybe next week. Looked quite nice, too...) but this week is full of quality. Onto the pull list for August 25th:

Conan #7 (current series) $2.99- My very first post in this blog was about this fine series. This issue is a wrap-up to the Hyperborea storyline. Not much happens, other than Conan gearing up for his next adventure. Exellent work all around, as usual. If you haven't read this series, the next issue looks to be a good jumping-on point. Then, go back and get #0-7. Maybe this fine establishment has them back issued. Ask nicely and see what they can do.
Bart Simpson #19 $2.99- This is the companion book to Simpsons Comics. Funny, shorter stories about Bart and the other kids of Springfield. Best part of this book: this issue's cover, with Bart as The Seven Deadly Harveys' Lord and Master a.k.a. Hot Stuff. Good stuff, if not for everyone. And, just like last week, I couldn't find a Bongo Comics weblink. What?
Promethea #31 $2.95- Ooooh man. This is one of my absolute, drop everything and read instantaneously, books. Alan Moore is a big hero of mine and this book lets him say whatever he wants. Not so much a comic as it is an in-depth exploration into Mr. Moore's views on magick and history. A beautiful book from issue one, page one. Even with everything he has done, including Watchmen and V For Vendetta, this is my second favorite book Mr. Moore has written, with From Hell just barely in front. Again, definitely not for everyone, especially this issue, since the series is over next issue. Go pick up the first collection. You will not be disappointed. J. H. Williams III is a fantastic artist who, I feel, does not get the credit he justly deserves. His art style is so different than anything else out there. Honestly, I feel this series should be studied alongside Watchmen and From Hell, just for the sheer amount of research that seems to be involved with writing this. Hell, it made me go do research on my own, in real books, just out of curiosity. I think that was Mr. Moore's point in publishing this. Top recommendation.
Astonishing X-men #4 $2.99- Ah yes. The X-men book I actually like. Initially, John Cassaday's art was the main reason I bought this book, and I am glad I did. Planetary is probably the best (sorta) superhero book out there today, and his art is one of the main reasons. The writing, by Joss Whedon of Buffy The Vampire Slayer fame, is a lot better than I expected, except I am unsure on his handling of Wolverine, as he has hardly done anything with him. The story is interesting and has a new villain that, four issues in, I still have questions about. Since that is the point of comics (make you wonder what is going to happen next so you will buy the next issue), he is doing a good job. The ending of this issue made my fiancee and I both sit up and go "huh?", but I am not unhappy about it. We are just a little bit confused, is all. Yep. Gonna get the next issue. Oh, and if you like John Cassaday's art in Astonishing X-men, go get Planetary. In issue 2 of that book, you get to see him draw a dead, eviscerated Godzilla-like creature!
The Flash #213 (current series) $2.25- Ok I agree with Mike on this one. The Turtle, one of the goofier rogues all three of the Flashes have faced, is now creepier than I ever expected. The Slowest Man Alive now seems to have a thing for balloons and... something more sinister. Good story with a strange twisty-style ending. And the Next Issue tag: "The Secret Of Barry Allen!" Oooooh. Let's hope it's not his secret tryst with Ma Hunkel.
The Witching #3 $2.95- Unless the pace picks up a little bit on this book, I may downgrade this book to "One The Girl Reads". The story is ok, but the set-up for the story is taking a little longer than I like. Let's see where it is at in a couple of issues. This issue has a little more character development, but not much else.
Hellblazer #199 $2.75- One more until #200! This issue wraps up the "Stations Of The Cross" story line quite nicely. An old foe returns, and it's a doozy! Still Vertigo's premier title. The (future) wife just started reading Original Sins, the first collection, and she is enjoying it. I can't wait to hear her reaction to the later, more brutal, stuff. This week, I decided that DC really needs to capitalize on the upcoming movie with chronologically-ordered collections of the series. There are already collections, but it skips around some. Of course, this is also a purely selfish request, as I would love to have all of Hellblazer in book format on my shelf. Listen to my demands, DC!

So, after the state sucking more money out of my pocket with sales tax, I spent $21.31, putting me barely over budget. Ehh. Almost all the books were winners, with one getting a "so close" rating. Not bad.

A few days ago, I had a little extra cash and decided to splurge on a couple of collections. I went with the first two Fables collections. Am I ever glad I did! Strong art and an interesting plot device, where all of the characters from fairy tales are living hidden in modern New York. Fantastic. It was so good, I tried to scrape together the cash to get the third collection the next day, to no avail. This comic proves to me that there will always be fertile ground in the classics for modern stories. As soon as I catch up on the back issues, it goes on the pull list. Highly recommended. Also, I found out a nice little tibit of information from the Mighty Ralph, owner of my third favorite place on Earth. He told me that Fables is a anomoly at his store. Most comics have people fall off of looking for back issues as it runs its course. Not so with Fables. He says that as it continues to be published, more people come in every month looking for back issues and that interest is growing. That, my friends, is how you become a legendary title. Look for this comic to be around a while. Just don't expect to find back issues soon.

See ya next time!

How To Be Late and Over Budget When Writing About How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20

2004-08-21T01:27:00.000-07:00

Yeah yeah yeah... I am a bit late on this week's "How to..." column. Damn those Olympics! I have no excuse for my tardiness. I only offer my apologies. Here's a quick update for those who care: the future wife and I found a place to live. We now await notification on our move-in date. Hooray! It is a nice, large, one bedroom apartment not far from my place of employment and one fine comic shoppe where it is rumored to have non-creepy employees. Having worked there and known most of the employees of said comic shoppe for many years, I tend to disagree with that rumor. I guess you just have to know them.

Onto why we are here. It's a new week and that means... Oh wait. I used that last week. Ok. Hmmm... How about we skip this and just get to the pull list for August 18th, shall we?

Incidentally, I went over budget this week. I had a little extra cash in me pocket and decided to give a couple of books a try. Hey, what better time to maybe expand the pull list?

Spider-man #5 (Marvel Knights series) $2.99- Ok this is the book that bastard Mike told me about last week after I had spent my budget. So, it went to the top of the pile for this week. In the previous column, I metioned how I love Frank Cho's art, I had never really seen him try anything in a superhero vein. Now that I have, I am pleasantly surprised. His art style really works for a Spidey book. My one, small complaint: every woman he draws looks like his character, Brandy, from his Liberty Meadows strip. It really didn't bother me much, though, as I was reading this to see how he draws Spidey. Wow. Very nice job. Mr. Cho has a clean style, one that drew me in initially to his work: thick, bold outline with clear detailing. On first glance, it almost seems too cartoony, but, upon closer inspection, his illustrator background shines through. Fine job. I especially enjoyed the "Spidey as human carjack" part, which shows a nice melding of writer and artist. Speaking of which, I haven't read much Mark Millar outside of The Authority, but he has a keen grasp of mainstream comics. Sure looks like I will continue with this series, and may even pick up the back issues. Hopefully, I can find them, considering Marvel's no reprint policy. Big time recommend on this one. Plus, there is an ad for the most articulated Spidey toy I have ever seen! I so want it!
Daredevil #63 (ok how about real life issue #443?) $2.99- Let's get this out of the way. Last week, I said the Flash was my favorite character ever. My favorite Marvel character ever? Daredevil. Hands down. The very first back issue I ever bought was Daredevil #41 (original numbering) "The Death Of Mike Murdock". I bought it without ever reading any other DD issues. It was purchased solely on the Gene Colan cover. Once I cracked it open, I discovered a character with one of the coolest powers: blind, but all his other senses were heightened. At eight years old, this struck home with me. I immediately searched out anything I could find. After discovering the Frank Miller stuff, that was it. I dropped it for a while in the 90's, but got on the Marvel Knights bandwagon with his "relaunch". I have never been a fan of renumbering old books, but at least they continue the old numbering underneath the new numbering, albeit in smaller print. Matt Murdock has been through hell, but still fights on, and has never been afraid to be brutal when he needs to be. So, the current issue continues the return of Black Widow storyarc. Brian Michael Bendis must delight in torturing DD. He writes a damn fine comic. Just enough superhero stuff to keep the fan's interested, with enough crimebook stuff to keep himself interested. Alex Maleev should stay on this book until the end of time. His art style fits with the "gritty" style that seems to work best for Daredevil. As always, fine stuff.
Rogue #2 $2.99- My girl is an X-men freak. She knows more about them than I do and Rogue is her favorite character. (My top three favorite X-men characters? Kitty Pryde. Longshot. Lockheed.) She didn't even have to tell me to buy this book. It was understood. This book is ok. She likes it. The future wife says it is better than the previous Rogue miniseries and I trust her opinion. Let's move on.
X-men #160 $2.25- Every few years, I get an itch to collect X-men books. We all know that Marvel continuously bombards us with numerous X-men titles. Stuff like that turns me off to titles. I hate having to read every book in a line to keep up with a story. That was why I dropped the Superman and Batman titles. At least this time around, one does have to buy a new X-book a week to keep up. So, this particular series has be ok. Not great, but decent. I like Salvador Larocca. Chuck Austen... Ehh. Sometimes, he is good and sometimes, it just doesn't click. I will give the next storyline in this title a chance. The only one I am enjoying is Astonishing X-men. It is really too bad that Morrison's run is being so completely ignored. Marvel took a chance with him and it paid off, both with readers and critics. Soon as he is gone, back to crap storytelling.
Simpsons Comics #97 $2.99- This book is a big-time guilty pleasure of mine. If there is one thing I am fan of more than comics, it is The Simpsons. I have so much Simpsons stuff, it is almost scary. One of my prize possessions is a collection of comics with a hand-drawn Bart Simpson done by none other than head of Bongo Comics himself, Bill Morrison. For that, Mike gained possession of my soul. Now, I can't fog up the glass on the ice cream freezer case at my local convenience store with my breath. Simpsons Comics combines my two great obsessions into one convenient package. It's just as funny as the show and actually a little more so, since it can revisit moments and characters that just isn't possible on the show. Additionally, the writers and artists can "play" more in a printed medium. I don't need to tell you what happens in this issue. Go buy it and enjoy. It could be any issue. All are good. And now my favorite characters: Of the family: it has to be Grandpa (Fighting Hellfish forever!); of the main townsfolk: Mr. Burns and Krusty; of the secondary characters: Bumblebee Man and Kang and Kodos; and the very minor, obscure characters: the Tallest Man in Town. Y'know, the one who makes Nelson cry.
JSA Strange Adventures #1 $3.50- I have been looking forward to this book. It is good stuff. The cover has Starman and Green Lantern fighting a Lovecraftian monster. How cool is that? This one has promise, with a neat subplot surrounding Johnny Thunder trying to be a pulp writer. The main story has strange, fascist villains. The JSA are in their prime. And zeppelins! Giant, evil zeppelins! Hooray! I can't wait to see where this goes.
Books Of Magic: Life During Wartime #2 $2.50- Ok I am getting into this book. Neat little alternate reality stuff and now that I think that the John Constantine in this book isn't really our reality's John Constantine, I like it all the more. Unlike most #2 issues that have come out recently, this one advances the plot. I am a little confused though. I have the original Books Of Magic miniseries and several early issues of the first ongoing, but I have no clue what is going on with Tim Hunter now. Did he forget about his magic? Is he purposely hiding it? Do I have to buy back issues now? God, I hope not. Anyway, the art is cool and the story is solid. We'll ride this one out for a while.
Manhunter #1 (current series) #1 $2.50- This one piqued my curiosity. I didn't really know anything about this book. My only knowledge about anything Manhunter was the weak series in the Eighties and that, at one time, there was a bunch of them and they were like the Green Lantern Corps (thanx History Of The DCU miniseries, by Wolfman and Perez!). Man, am I glad I bought this. After reading it, I looked on the cover for a "Mature Audiences" tag. Not there. Cool crime book with nice, gritty, gory art. Me want more!

Can you tell I was starting to lose steam towards the end of this? After all of this, and the local bloodletting tax, my total came to $24.36. Eek. I had the extra money and I got to try out two new books that were entertaining. That more than makes up for it. The success rate? Six for eight, with X-men getting a neutral. Not bad.

By the by, I wrote this while listening to a legally downloaded live Primus concert. They have a website where you can pay to get any show from their past two concert tours. Ten bucks got me 2 1/2 hours of fine music. Go check it out. They do a show with Adrian Belew. Lots of strange covers all over the place, with the particular show I got showcasing two Rush songs, all of Frizzle Fry, and In The Flesh by Pink Floyd.

See ya soon, True Believers!

Son of How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20 A Week

2004-08-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

Hello there.

It has been a busy few days for the Flesh-head household, leading me to be unable to find the time to post in this here blog thingy. It is looking quite positive for my future wife and I on the apartment hunt. In fact, we could have very well found a place that is in our price range and size. We like it. Let's hope that it likes us.

It is a new week and that means...
NEW COMICS!
I am enjoying this new weekly feature here in the Treehouse of Random Goodness. It is almost a game for me. Today, I went to My Third Favorite Place On The Planet and had a $20 bill. That's it. One title was sacrificed as a result but that bastard Mike didn't tell me about it until I had already spent the money. Besides, there's always next week, right? Anyway, here we go with my pull list for August 11th:

Runaways #11 $2.99- This one is for my fiancee. I tried to get into this title and just couldn't do it. She likes it, though, so on the pull list it stays. Needless to say, I didn't read it.
Bite Club #5 $2.95- Another one that was requested by the girl, but this series I am actually reading. I think this is only the second series by Howard Chaykin I have read, with the first being the early Eighties miniseries The Shadow: Blood & Justice. I have a fascination with The Shadow and bought that collection because it was where the DC series from the Eighties started and loved every page. Just so brutal and well told. Bite Club had vampires in it, so it was another case of the (future) wife saying "I want that!". Both of us are digging this story and it has led both of us to have more interest in Chaykin. Dorian recommended Black Kiss for the girl, as it has tranvestite vampires in it. She likes that kind of stuff. Back to Bite Club: this series is finely crafted. I like how the coloring is one dominant color for each section. It gives it an interesting feel and mood. The pencilling is clean and almost cartoony. Fantastic title. Highly recommended.
DC Comics Presents: The Flash $2.50- My favorite character ever is The Flash. The ability to move really fast just seems like a useful, cool power. Maybe my love for it stems from my hatred of lateness. I would always prefer to be early. Or maybe it is the fact that The Flash extended family and rogue's gallery is one of the best out there. My respect for Golden Age stories comes from The Flash. The whole line straight through just has almost a "familial" feel to the books. The one piece of jewelry I wear every day is a solid silver replica Flash ring. I bought Flash #1 (current series) new on the stand and have kept with it almost the entire run. Can you tell how deep it runs for me? On to this book. This was the first one of the Julius Shwartz tribute books I bought and it was joyous. Julie even figures into the plot of the second story! Fantastic book from cover to cover. The Alan Moore-written obituary at the end was quite nice. It was nice to read a early Barry Allen story. And Iris Allen seemed to be quite the dish when she was younger!
Alpha Flight #6 (current series) $2.99- Ok I don't know if I am in the minority on this series, but I am actually enjoying it. Sure, it's silly and only features one of the original members. So what? Everyone need a little bit of the silly now and then. Methinks this series isn't going to last long, so I want to get it while it is here. Nothing really happens in this one other than the original team showing up. Good to see Puck, though.
JSA #64 $2.50- Easily, my favorite series published today. I have every issue of the run and, with the exception of maybe two or three issues, it stays strong. My Main Man Corey said today that this is how the current JLA should be. He's right. Big stories that grab you and don't let go. Lots of respect shown to Golden Age characters. Updates on characters who haven't really been handled properly until now. I cannot stress this enough: this is how superhero comics should be witten. Early on, I worried about this series' longevity, but now I am delighted that it has caught on. Geoff Johns made me a believer. Go get the collections. They are a cheap and easy way to get started on this. Once you start, you won't be able to stop.This particular issue is the conclusion of the "Sand returns" two-parter. Great stuff. Jerry Ordway rules. Geoff Johns rules. Mike McKenna rules.
Identity Crisis #3 $3.95- OK I am not going to get involved in the debate about this series. I don't care if it should have a "Mature Readers" tag on it. I just want a good story with pretty art out of a comic. Instead, let's just focus on the book. The murder mystery deepens and weirdness is abounding. So far, I like this story. It's interesting to see these dirty little secrets of our heroes come out and how all the gaps in between older published stories are far stranger than we would have expected thirty years ago. Let's just hope that it doesn't end in a nonsensical way. Like the killer is Gar from Teen Titans or someone else that doesn't make sense.

So, all told, after local taxes, I spent $19.18, well under budget, and not a book in the pile that disappointed me. Hooray! Oh, that book that the evil Mike told me about after I had spent my money? It was the new issue of Spider-man that has Frank Cho art. I looove older style "illustration" artwork and Frank Cho is one of the best out there today. Plus, he love to draw monkeys and that is a big bonus. Monkeys rule!

See ya next time, True Believers!

How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20 A Week

2004-08-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry about missing a post yesterday. The Wife Of The Future and I are in the process of finding a new place to live, so every moment of free time right now feels like it is devoted to apartment-hunting. After working for nine hours, then driving around for four hours, all I wanted to do was shoot virtual zombies.

Today is a new day, though! Today is also the start of a new weekly post. In the old days, I really didn't have a declared budget, as I was attending college and living at my granparents' house, rent-free. Now, as a semi-responsible adult, there are other priorities, like rent, utilities, keeping the love of my life happy... Y'know, the hazards of being out on your own. That means less money for comics, sadly. Twenty dollars is my weekly limit. Sometimes, I have a little extra cash and can splurge on a trade (that sounds so dirty), or there is just nothing that catches my eye and I can check out a new title. So, if you are budget-minded like me, this here weekly post will be a guide to what I get and how I stay under $20. Let's get this going...

This week I bought six titles, one of which was not on my usual "must-have" list, and two which were from last week. Those ones were shipped late to my Friendly Neighborhood Comic Shoppe, thanks to Diamond's wonderful shipping department. Normally, said Comic Shoppe's owner picks them up, but Ralph was involved in a traffic accident and totalled his truck. He is okay, but the truck did not survive, which led to what felt like a conspiracy between Diamond and UPS to screw with comic fans. Anyway, here is my pull list for August 4, 2004:

Swamp Thing #6 (current series) $2.95- This is turning into what the last Swampy series should have been. I liked the Tefe series, but it didn't feel like a Swamp Thing series. The main character just has to be a shambling, muck-encrusted creature that can grow psychedelic tubers on it's body. Enrique Breccia's art feels like the old Steve Bissette art, without looking too much like he is just tracing over the lines. Nice and monster-y. Andy Diggle is doing a fine job writing, but this issue wrapped up too cleanly. That is a small complaint, though. I do have an indirect complaint about Vertigo in general as a result. John Constantine is appearing in three titles right now:Swamp Thing, Books of Magic: Life During Wartime, and his own title, Hellblazer. He is in a completely different mindset in each one: he has lost his memory in his own title, in Books of Magic, he is in some magick-y realm, and he is the old John Constantine in Swamp Thing. Do the writers ever talk about maybe some continuity between the titles?
Firestorm #4 (current series) $2.50- Man, I am digging this book. Nice and different, for a change. It is neat to read about a hero who gets powers for no reason and has to decide what to do. It makes sense that others heroes that knew the Ron Raymond Firestorm would have some questions about who this new kid is. Plus, he has real problems that interfere with his life. This is definitely a book to watch, but it is early yet. Let's see where it is in ten issues.
The Witching #2 $2.95- I picked this up because the (future) wife saw the ad and went "I want this!". I very much enjoyed the first issue and having Lucipher in it was a bonus. This issue felt a little too much like filler, though. Still enjoyed it, but I have a "wait and see" attitude towards it.
Hellblazer #198 $2.75- 198 issues? That means I have probably read 120 issues of john's so-called adventures and I have considered this book Vertigo's premier title for as long as I can remember, even when Sandman was published. This is one of the top three books for me. I bought issues one off the stand and have kept with it off and on ever since. Easily, John Constantine is my favorite character by any publisher. The new cycle is definitely different and I am still unsure about it. I think I like it, but I miss John being a bastard. #200 is soon and he still doesn't have his memory. There is probably nothing that the writers could do to drive me off this title. Maybe give John a cape and have him fight crime. That might do it. Oh, and if you want my opinion on the upcoming move, just ask me. Beware, though, I will curse a lot. I'll still go see it, though, as Karen Berger, head honcho of Vertigo, said, this is the first Vertigo movie, and I would like to see more. Unfortunately, they will get my $9.
Uncanny X-men #447 $2.25- Why do I continue to torture myself with this book? Maybe it is the fond memories I had of the Chris Claremont-written issues of X-men and Excaliber from the Eighties? Actually, I think it is more the "car wreck syndrome" I suffer from: it is terrible, but I can't turn away. It is amazing how quick every single aspect of Grant Morrison's run is being conveniently changed or ignored. Surprisingly, I am enjoying Joss Whedon's run over on Astonishing X-men. Why can't this one follow suit?
The new issue of Wizard $4.99- I went under budget this week, so I bought this on a whim. Ehh. I haven't read Wizard in two years and I guess I didn't miss much. More of the same, if that's your thing. One thing about Wizard that drives me nuts: the price guide. It really feels that they just pull the prices out of their ass. And they continue to fuel the CGC craze. Don't they have any recollection of the Big Bust in 1994? The Collector's Market almost destroyed the comics market and CGC feels very similar. Don't buy comics for investment; buy them to read. Grrr. Gets me so mad sometimes.

So, after my local sales tax, I spent $19.72 and there is only one thing I regretted buying. Not a bad average, but next time, I listen to Dorian. He rarely steers me wrong.

See ya tomorrow, True Believers!

Ooooh... Spooky!

2004-08-04T19:19:00.000-07:00

So I am already deviating from my declared topics of discussion (how's that for some alliteration?), because another of my great loves has a new addition this week: video games. I have had a love for them ever since I figured out that if I flick the reset toggle switch on my Atari 2600 enough times, I'll get 99 lives on Asteroids. Today, I picked up Doom 3. It is sitting right next to me, daring me to play it. Since I just got done installing it, I am going to play it for about an hour, then get to posting on here. Let's just see if all the lag-time and waiting for this will live up to the hype. See ya soon!

Later... (9:49pm)

I can feel my life draining away from me. This is a fine first-person shooter, from the people who popularized the genre. Countless hours were wasted by me on Doom, but I never really got into Quake. Maybe it was because I didn't have a computer that could handle it. Maybe it was because I didn't give a damn. This one is quite fine, though: genuinely scary at times, with nice graphics and killer surround sound. I can't wait to try it with headphones. Doom 3 definitely feels like a natural successor to the original, with creatures from the original updated to even creepier levels. All around, it is pretty swell.

Tomorrow, we look at what comics I bought this week, including what was missed last week, due to The Fine Establishment I Am A Consumer Of Said Funnybooks being shorted on their shipment.

My First time... or, How To Pop A Cherry

2004-08-03T17:18:00.000-07:00

Hello there.

Welcome to the first post of my blog. Hope today finds you healthy and happy. As three of my former co-workers from the Biggest Little Comic Shoppe That Could (Progressive Ruin, postmodernbarney, and the mighty Captain Corey) have blogs, I figured I would throw my hat into the ring. This here World Wide Web is a perfect place to say whatever you want and I have things I want to talk about. So, without any further delay, here is a bullet-form list of info about me, The Fleshy-headed Mutant, to you, the warm, cuddly reader:

Sign: Scorpio
Age: 29 (well, in about three months. Close enough. Old is old.)
Marital Status: Engaged to a wonderful woman, who just might throw her two cents in, occasionally.
Played guitar and sang in a few bands, but currently not interested in playing in front of people anymore.
Topics that will be discussed here at the Treehouse: cartoons, comics and music. That's about it, but the page will probably mutate at some point. It is part of my nickname.
Finally, the one and only time I will explain my nickname: My offline nickname really is Flesh-head or some bastardization of said nickname, like The Fleshy-headed Mutant or Fleshy. I have had long hair my whole life. Several years ago, I go really tired of dealing with it, so I shaved it all off with five or six disposable razors. We're talking Kojak-style bald. The next day, I walked into a friend's house, fully expecting a ration of insults. An old friend, Gerry, looked up and exclaimed, "It's a Fleshy-headed Mutant!", citing the movie-within-a-move the Mackenzie Brothers did in Strange Brew. From that point on, all my friends called me Flesh-head. Incidentally, I haven't been bald since. People assume too much when one is large and bald, like I am some sort of scary skinhead or something. I detest racism or bigotry in any form. Everyone should be judged on their own merits, not for the color of their skin.

OK now that that is out of the way, let's get down to business, shall we?

When I was six years old, I contracted the dreaded chicken pox. I spent about a week and a half just sick as the proverbial dog, quarantined to my grandparents' living room couch. I got to watch a bunch of cartoons, with my favorites being the old sixties-era Marvel cartoons. Spider-man, The Hulk, Captain America... I couldn't get enough of them. One day, my father came to visit and he had brought with him a few comics and digests of Spider-man and Avengers. My eyes grew wide when I saw them. He explained to me that the cartoons I loved had originated in these monthly magazines and that there was plenty more where these came from. Man, I was hooked from the get-go. There was never enough for me. The little convenience store by my house carried them at that time and I was forever bugging my mother to get me more, more, always more.

So, for that, I am forever indebted to my father. He was the first person to get me into comics. He also showed me a world outside of mainstream comics. He collected Heavy Metal and would let me have the issues when he was done. Ok Thinking back on it now, I might have been a little too young to have seen the boobs and such, but, even then, I was amazed at how different the art style was, compared with the early eighties Avengers and Spidey. It was so beautiful and foreign. I even remember being fascinated with one artist in particular: Moebius. I thought he must have been some sort of extraterrestrial. But, it did lead me to find new sources of comics, so I could get stuff that wasn't available at Circle K.

What does this have to do with today's current comics crop? Well, one of the first comics I branched out into was Savage Sword Of Conan. For one, it was magazine-format, and, even then, I knew bigger was better. Conan's stories were just what I was looking for when I was nine: violent, over-the-top, boobs... And Conan himself was just a bad-ass. The fully painted covers would just suck you in. I was hooked.

We are now six issues in on the new series of "lost" Conan stories, published by Dark Horse Comics, and I feel like a kid again. In my early teens, I discovered the Conan books and learned a new type of joy. The new comics would have made Robert E. Howard proud, I think. They have the same feel of the old Savage Swords, without feeling like you are retracing your steps. I have always been a fan of Kurt Busiek, but not a "oh my god, I must have everything!" fan, but this series may just push me over. These are stories of a young Conan, one who makes mistakes. One does see glimpses of how he will become, but this is where he learns all that. Plus, how cool is it to read about the stuff that was only hinted at in the earlier works? (an aside: It is hard to keep all this straight. Conan was older in the earlier books. He's young in the current stuff. Let's hope I don't make time collapse in on itself with all of this.)

So, I endorse this. A fine read with some spectacular art by Cary Nord. I don't know enough of his work, but methinks I should investigate. Go get it.

Oh, and would Stan Lee sue the shit out of me for signing this off with "Excelsior!"?

Flesh-head's Treehouse Of Random Goodness

Nicotine Dreams #2

The Paint Dilemma.

Nicotine Dreams #1

Hey, This Still Exists.

Coming soon!

5:26pmSean

5:26pmTravis

5:26pmSean

5:26pmTravis

5:27pmSean

5:28pmTravis

5:28pmSean

5:28pmTravis

5:28pmSean

5:28pmTravis

5:31pmTravis

5:33pmTravis

5:36pmSean

5:38pmTravis

5:38pmSean

5:38pmTravis

5:39pmSean

5:39pmTravis

5:39pmSean

5:39pmTravis

I'm Your Ice Cream Man, Baby

*taps microphone* Umm, hello? Is this thing on?

Comics On A Budget for June 6, 2007

Comics On A Budget for June 1, 2007

Comics On A Budget for the week of 05-23-07

Late Night Rambling

Comics On A Budget for 5-16-07

I Love This Game

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Comics On A Budget: Week One

Music And Comics: Anthrax

Chop Socky

Guitar Hero 2 for the Xbox 360

Hello Again.

Flesh-head And Tellura Go To Geek Heaven '05: Day Two

Flesh-head And Tellura Go To Geek Heaven '05: Day One

Flesh-head And Tellura Go To Geek Heaven '05: Preview Night

Flesh-head And Tellura Go To Geek Heaven '05: Preview

Surviving Geek Heaven Chapter One: Overview

Surviving Geek Heaven: Introduction

What I Read On My Summer Vacation

Crypt Of How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20

How To Be Late and Over Budget When Writing About How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20

Son of How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20 A Week

How To Enjoy Comics For Under $20 A Week

Ooooh... Spooky!

My First time... or, How To Pop A Cherry

taps microphone Umm, hello? Is this thing on?